Monday, August 29, 2005

I just spit out an Elephant (finally)

I had long prepared my resignation letter, waiting for the right time to hand it in to my manager. hesitated and made so many changes to the effective date because of certain factors that were holding me back in this pithole.
i was on the verge of handing out my letter the moment i received my FIRST. the One and Only job offer for these 2 years that i've tried(not quite first one, cos timing wasn't right i rejected two offers). when i finally got one, the very first person that i very much wanted to share the good news was my mentor. finally, when i had the opportunity to tell him, he didnt sound happy for me. weird i thought. i remembered he said that the organization was okay but later he revealed that it was best that i should avoid the entertainment line. but i thought otherwise, so long the organization have no qualms about me wearing my 'preferred attire', i should give it a shot. well, i guessed its not meant to be afterall. i was really disappointed. because i still don't get to leave this place. i am really unhappy here. no matter how much i tried to shift my perspective, things got from bad to worse. it didnt get very worse but just didnt get better. (sounds the same though)
so my mentor suggested that i should try the other organization that his friend worked in. thought that might be more conducive for me.less gossip. so he volunteered his assistance by getting the email address for me and when i was done with that, i told him that i wanted to hand in my resignation letter. he told me to be patient and i should wait for the other organization to respond first. and he even said that i would be rewarded for my patience. but i couldnt take it anymore. i can be patient but not with matters relating to leaving this place i no longer feel comfortable to be in.
i was pretty sad and low-spirited when i was told to hold back my letter. that was on a wednesday i think. then i began my sleepless nights since. when i thought i could hold back a little longer, a staff from the accounts department further exasperated me. that was two days later. i thought to myself: i do not want to face any nonsense from these people anymore. no matter how much patience i was tested, i felt that this was it. i had ENOUGH!! i spend so much time here, i do not want myself to get soaked in this kind of environment, spoiling my good and cheerful spirit and get nurtured into someone devilish.
i handed the letter to my manager and told him my decision first thing in the morning. first thing he asked: "unhappy here?" i wanted to say yes but i want to save the 'best for last'. probably during the exit interview. and when the letter was handed, i just felt like i've offloaded a heavy piece of boulder off from my shoulder. like as though something was stuck in my throat diaphragm and finally i spat it out! It was a total relief! but then again, i need to suffer another two months here because of the stupid eight weeks notice the company laid down in the contract. never mind, chang tong bu ru duan tong. 'short term pain better than long term pain' (that's the translation)
Okay, though i've done something despite your advice. but i do hope that you can try and understand what i've been through down here. you might not be able to understand what i went through because you are not in that position. i've tried all ways and means to find out but i was never given a second chance. so i'm not going to beg for a third chance anymore. like what amy says:" I dont need their friendship anyway, if they choose to behave like small kids."
and for the first time,i've kept my resignation away from my parents. sorry mum dad, i just dont want additional nagging.

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