Saturday, November 26, 2005

Great finds in the library

I always have this thought in my mind.

"How would the library ever survive and still continue to bring in new books, and the libraries are also becoming bigger and better when books are rented out free to ALMOST every singaporean?"

this question has bugged me ever since i became a young and loyal bookworm of a library located near my house. i remembered i used to own many books, i began to start out a 'rental service' to my fellow young neighbours who wanted to borrow my books. i became a librarian in the neighbourhood on the 8th of my HDB estate. i didnt know why but the interest was there to play many many games with your fellow mates and the usual ones had already began to bore me so i decided to set up a library in my home. my parents home actually.

when i grew up, i think i would relate the libraries survival would probably be due to the fact that it's under government funding. i still haven't got any proof but i think i'm more likely correct.

ever since my interest in islam grew, one of the reasons of visiting the library was to find some good books about islam. and amazingly, the books i saw were of good material and content. they were informative and useful. some books also covered basic understanding of the religion which are relatively important when everyone now has misunderstood islam.

last week, i borrowed 3 books from the library. one of it was intended for my mum. because the book covered basic questions about the concept of islam and terrorism. but unfortunately, after i had finished with it, i was left with 8days to let her finish. hurrily, i left a note and placed it together with the book, telling her to read in her leisure. but i noticed that she had left it untouched for several days. as the due was approaching, i took the book back. the next day, she asked me for the book because she said she was beginning to be less busy. Hahaa... i told her i had to get it back because i was afraid of leaving that out when i had to return the books on time.

when i returned the books back one day later, i saw another book titled 'world faiths: Islam' displayed in the 'NEW' section. decided to borrow that for my mum again. that book was great too because it has more pictures and covers more topics than the previous one, in a more positive manner.

too bad, the library doesnt do any trade in or selling of their books. i enjoyed this particular book so i kept renewing. i wonder if binding and recopying of the whole book is allowed or not??

Tuesday, November 22, 2005

Long and peaceful dinner

This opportunity was hard to come by. ever since i embarked on this new job, i think to have an opportunity to have a long peaceful and enjoyable dinner with Linus* would be like a dream come true to me.

i made an arrangement with my previous co to hand over my duties to the new staff, henceforth i could knock off from work ON TIME. so that explains the reason i could meet Linus* for dinner. i told myself that i would really love to have a lengthy dinner where we could chat longer. (on other occassions, it was like a 'chop chop' sessions)

after our individual committments, we decided to have a sumptuous dinner at swensens. and i told him i would treat him. but unfortunately, the place that we went was down with car park problems so we had a change of plans : PizzaHut. when we reached the restaurant, we quickly decided on the set meal which cost about 23.95dollars. it consisted of two soups, two drinks, a salad and a regular size pizza. we ordered an additional side of criss cross fries with salsa sauce. after ordering he asked me what was the occassion that calls for the treat, i said nothing la, just felt an urge to have a good dinner. (but inside my heart, this would actually so-called bribe him in giving me more time to spent with him) you know what, coffeeshop meals are so fast. once you finish, chop chop, you go home. good bye. good night. so boring right? at least places that pizzahut or swensens has a better ambience. i wouldnt mind paying if i can get to spend more time with him. you may think i'm foolish, but this foolishness might wear off soon. i think. if his attitude towards me is still..... hmmm...

anyway, it was a fruitful treat. a good dinner. and a fulfilling one. we ate and savoured it slowly. like as though making every cent spend worthwhile. not wasting a single mm of cheese on the pan... haha...

how i wished if all dinners forthcoming would be that long and worthwhile... weekdays are impossible since there isnt much time. weekends are even HIGHLY IMPOSSIBLE since i'm not up to his standard to be able to cater for weekend slots in his timetable...

nevertheless, i'm keeping my fingers crossed... (:

Friday, November 18, 2005

Walking advertisement

So here i am. in a challenging job environment when everything that has to be learnt comes from an industry i could never imagine that i would be landing myself in.

Of course i'm positive towards these new challenges, though by nature i had been quite a pessimist so it had been really a tough week out there. having less than a week to pick up all the new terms in the construction field and learning how to provide solutions in a 'customer orientated' manner viz-a-viz through their defects. it's as though, in order to get into the good books of the owners, many things have to be rectified and correctly changed according otherwise, you will get lots of pressurizing stuff from them...

So in my new job, i get to clad myself in tudung. i wanted it and it really happened! so here i am : a chinese muslim who is unable to speak Malay. but becuase of the tudung, i was mistaken as a Malay by many, in hundreds by now...

i didnt want to let them know that i'm a chinese by birth, not because i'm ashamed to be one but i thought that it would be better in a way that i can get to hear things which they didnt want us to hear. wouldnt that be an advantage? heehee... but there were certain occassions i gave myself away because my other chinese colleague had called me and i blurted out some chinese words. and they started asking me; " So are you a chinese or malay?" then i had to explain what's my status etc etc...

People mainly were interested to find out :"why did you convert? how did your parents reacted? and is your husband or boyfriend malay?" There were only two people who were more interested to ask me questions: one was a carpenter and the other was my chinese colleauge. first one being perceptive and the latter being receptive. whatever i told her, she listened attentively and asked serious questions. the carpenter was interested to find out what Islam teaches because he was curious about the recent happenings about the bombings. so i explained to him in chinese, something i never tried before. haahaa, not because i cant speak chinese but my medium of learning had always been English. so it became quite difficult to find the appropriate terms.

but anyway, i would be glad to share the good things about islam, if anyone is interested...

Monday, November 14, 2005

Men in sweat with their green uniform

Can you guess who and what i'm talking about?

Yes, Linus* has gone to serve 4 days of reservist this week. yeah, so during this 4 days, we wont get to have dinner together let alone talk to each other often. he would be stuck in field training, or if not retiring early for the night because he needs to wake up early the next day...

the purpose of me writing this post is because i've suddenly recalled something really funny last year. the same time while he's doing his reservist. i asked him if he sleeps in his bunk half naked like what he did the previous year and he replied me by saying he didnt dare because this year he had extra load of fats on his body and he felt shy sleeping naked, showing off the 'extras'.

I never thought guys would be that vain. or would be that concerned about the 'extra load' on them... but i wish to clarify that doesnt constitute towards the meaning of being a 'sissy' or a faggot. would you gals prefer to see your man fat or thin? i think it's very individualistic right?

and the other funny thing is; even though after all that exercises on the field, he doesnt stink. and he doesnt smell. i actually smelled him when he was near me. haha.. am i a sicko? i missed him la, that's why i just wanna get close to him at any costs. or risk damaging my nose pipe. haha...

last year's reservist was a bit more fun and memorable. this year's might be a little bit quiet.

Saturday, November 12, 2005

S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D! ! !

Yup yup... that's how i feel after working in my new job for a week. Yes, it's only a week and i'm really feeling this stress bugging me over the weekend.

the office's ringing tone bug me, my colleague's ringing tone from her phone also haunt me in my sleep.... to tell you what kind of madness goes around at my new work place, kindly hang on there while i try and come home early to update my blog... otherwise, i'll feel that all my posts are pretty cooped up in my head...

that's about it folks... i will edit and update this posting soon... take care....

Wednesday, November 09, 2005

i'm the newbie in the block

If you would have followed me till this post, you would have remembered that i had mentioned about heading towards a different career direction.

yup yup. i've already left my previous company in the accident vehicle reporting industry. and now i'm in the estate and construction field. not quite the physical term of construction per se, but rather doing customer service in the estate management. heard before?

when i was interviewed for this job, it sounded pretty easy. the job responsibilities dished out had painted quite an incredible image of what the position requires of me. but when i really got myself at the actual site, i was actually taken by surprise.

as the name implies, estate management. yeah, i worked for the developer for residential properties in the customer service department. so the project site is made up of developer, contractor and sub contractors to follow up on the purchaser's defects found in the unit lodged by them after an inspection has been carried out. within the Defect Liability Period, the contractor and the developer has to make good for anything defective found within the condominium itself. that would be at least for 12monhts. so before i came, 2 of my other colleagues were taking charge of at least more than 2towers. and one tower has more than 90units. but of course, not all units had been collected even though every SINGLE UNIT has been SOLD. but nevertheless, the files that they carry had so many defects lists which were still outstanding.... and i was told that when i am almost settled down, i had to take over one tower. that would be about 98 units or so...

for a newbie, that's definitely lots of follow up to rectify so that the units could be wonderfully handed (praying hard) over to the owner before they start suing us for not completing the rectifications on time.

so for the past 2days, there were no such things as being able to knock off on the dot at 6.25pm. everybody works till 7.20 at least. i smell something burning. yeah, not just my weeknights are burned, my saturdays morning to pig out on my bed are burnt too. no la, i wont die because i have to OT but rather i just hope that this would not be an everyday affair. i would have other more important committments to attend to. and that worries me. and people, there's more to tell you about my new job.

stick around... it's getting late so i need to fly off to dreamland....

nitezz..... (=

Monday, November 07, 2005

food, food and more food...

4days of eid celebrations had passed. i spend most of my time with the usual gang of muslim converts that i hang out with. and when i'm at their places, most of us spent so much time infront of the tv, watching SCV channels. they were yakking away about what they saw on this channel and that channel, and the tv remote was at the mercy of the remote controller. different images from one channel to the next were flashing before i even blink my eyes. to them, these channels were like everyday entertainment. but to a non-subscriber of SCV like me, images from MTV, National Geographic or perhaps the Travel & LIving are like gems to me you know. i began to wonder that i am missing out on so many good stuff.....

and i remembered on Sunday, i think i overloaded myself with lots of cookies while watching tv at a friend's place. i couldnt stop myself. popped them in my mouth one after another. the cookies were really delicious. if i didnt had to leave for another house, i might instantly become a couch potato there.... and i unwillingly dragged myself out from there... my appointment was supposed to be at six pm but i only left my friend's place at 5.45pm. it wasnt because of the cookies alone but the company as well....

well, the next house that i went belongs to an ex colleague of mine. she converted and got married to a muslim guy. two kids. not working. so the gathering was made up of ex colleagues from my previous previous job. and many of them brought their kids along. there was alot of noise but the level was still quite manageable. but cookies wasnt that great. the food was very western though. was looking forward to using my hands because after seeing how my mentor ate, i kinda wanna improve on my skills. but i know i'm far from the 'experts'. there was fried beehoon,fried fishball,fried toufu,fried chicken wing... i ate minimal only cause there wasnt anything special served... sorry...

and my attire shocks the entire group of mummies. a buddhist turned muslim. with a tudung on. they thought i was already married. that's explains the tudung attire. after explaining the usual 'curiousity (or security ) questions', they were satisfied with my answers because they have asked what should be asked.

so this is it. on how i spend my eid celebrations. not quite the norm for born muslims. converts stuck in singlehood. this would be how we pass our time. another convert that i knew actually spent his time watching movies alone for 10years during hari raya. maybe next year i can join him too. it's been long since i watched one.

Friday, November 04, 2005

Post Hari Raya celebrations

You would have noticed that this post is already late because i didn't had the time to edit my post...

As i wasnt able to make it for the eid prayers, i slept till late morning. but i didnt want to stay at home for too long because i wanted to go and experience the hari raya mood out there. so i prepared myself quickly and set out. only to realise that my ONE AND ONLY appointment for the day starts after 2pm. okay, and i was out since 12pm.

i took a bus to compass point. and when i reached there, it was barely 1pm. so i went to Macdonalds to pass time. since i was hungry as well, i bought an extra value meal to satisfy my hunger. i spent timeless efforts to eat as slowwwlyyy as possible... i was stared at many times, making me wonder whether has my fasting month has really ended? and it was also an odd scenario because it seemed that i was the only Muslim woman in the whole restaurant... while everyone is busy preparing for their eid celebrations at home.

my friend only came at about 5pm to meet me. during the time, i wandered around the mall aimlessly. haha.... i bought a new flavoured bottle of coca cola with added lime.. not so nice actually. maybe because not icy-cold enough, cant really taste the lime. when i reached my FIRST invitation, other converts' brothers were already there. instead of attacking the food, i attacked the 'raya biscuits' because this is the time where you can really find some cool biscuits... YummYy... stayed at my friend's place till 8pm because i had nowhere else to go. then they decided to visit another brother. i tagged along because i wanna join in the crowd and be part of this atmosphere. when we reached the other place, everybody started eating again. i joined in too although i wasnt that hungry because i saw sambal prawns, chicken and KETUPAT.... FavOuriTe #@$% i went home early and the rest continued with their night tour...

the 2nd day of hari raya, i went to the library in the morning. Yes, THE LIBRARY. strange right?? after staying there for about 2hours, my stomach growled and i left for parkway for lunch at BK. i wandered around the mall AGAIN.... when it was almost time, i took a bus to Bishan to meet an ex colleague. we chatted from 6.30pm to almost 9pm. it came as a surprise because this was our first and the last meeting as colleagues from our previous company. and we never had lunch together before!!! but we managed to talk alot.

that was how i spend the first 2 days of hari raya. it might not be as fantastic and jam packed as the muslims who spend it with their families but i'm looking forward to better hari raya celebrations in the future.

Hope you had enjoyed your Eid celebrations! (:

Wednesday, November 02, 2005

eve of Eid Mubarak

I was seriously anticipating the end of Ramadan and the arrival of Hari Raya Puasa. (this festival marks the celebration of successfully completed our fasting month, not the muslims' new year okay?)

The day before yesterday, there were some signs of AV*. i was frantically calling out to God to delay it but i guessed mother nature still decide to appear anyway. terribly disappointed. not only i had to pay back more when i skipped fasting, i couldnt go out to perform my much-awaited Eid-Adil-fitri prayers.

Aaarrrgggghhh.... i'm really feeling disappointed why did it have to be so accurate. and besides this mother nature thingy, there's another thing i'm feeling quite sad about.

i realised that since i can't go near any mosque to hide, i've NOWHERE ELSE TO GO on HARI RAYA PUASA. ssShhaarkss... while everyone will be with their families out on the streets with their matching 'baju kurung', i would be isolated.....

am i really gonna be ALONE tomorrow?

the LONELINESS TRICKLES INTO MY BRAIN SLOWLY....... EATING UP PARTS OF MY BRAIN.... DESTROYING MY HAPPY CELLS THAT RAMADAN IS OVER....

ALONE.... ONE PERSON.... LONELY.......

Is that how a convert without a partner has to go through the first year; the phase of loneliness?? hmm... i'll make the best out of my loneliness. (= okay, i'm gonna make my own plans now. before i go, here's wishing the non-muslim and muslim readers:

Happy Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya Puasa Adil-fitri and Eid Mubarak to all!!!!!

Tuesday, November 01, 2005

to love or to be loved?

Does love really make you blind and oblivious to everything people think its bad and in your eyes, you only see good in your loved one and the bad stuff were insignificant? is that what you call 'Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder'?

how far would you go to make your loved one happy?when you know that the fruit that he likes is hanging on a ten foot tree and you are only 5 foot tall and you would try ways and means to get it because that would make him happy. or that the person that you love can only treat you like a friend, and to make him happy, you had to pretend like there's only space for friendship.

to love or to be loved? i think every woman would desire to be loved. because when you are being loved, you are definitely being pampered by your man. and if your man loves you more than you love him, ahh... wouldn't that totally make you feeling so secure, knowing for sure only you occupies a space in his heart. what i mean is the treatment is just different. but if you happen to become the person chasing after someone you love, that's a totally different feel. you would feel terrible if the person doesnt reciprocate your feelings. you would feel despondent if that person doesnt answer your calls or messages. you will feel terribly lonely when you try to date that person and you get rejected. i have those kind of feelings before. i dont know about you,my fellow readers and bloggers. you need to be in the tick of action to understand what i write here.

i pursue what i love and who i want to love. and that is why the frequencies of 'to love' is higher than 'being loved'. the funny thing is when there are opportunities of getting myself 'to be loved', the chemistry just doesnt strike. so a chance is missed. but there are many prevailing advantages to pursuing who you want to love. and there are of course the down sides too.

my friends have ever told me that whoever that i love will be very fortunate. because i would treat my man like a king. pamper him like a king. shower him with tender loving care. and would only give the best of what i can provide. yeah, that's me. but pampering like that doesnt ensure that your man would faithfully stay by your side. can you keep men by your side with all of the above? would that be sufficient enough?

what's your take on LOVE, this very amazing blind potion?