i wanted to cure my stress with shopping and so i met my friend for shopping after work. oh yes, he turned up at my office but he didnt make himself 'loud' enough to be heard or seen. anyway, thanks for coming all the way to my office for me. he's a cheerful guy with lots of nonsense. and sometimes quite noisy too. well i hoped that his character would help me forget my worries and problems for this period of time i'm gonna spend with him...
we went straight to G2000 boutique. as he browsed around, my eyes were roving around at the guys section too. nope, i wasnt oogling at guys but at their shirts. and guess what, my mind just switch to 'thinking of buying him stuff' mode again. after helping my friend with the choice of shirts to buy, i called him to ask if he needed any pants. he said he needed to try them on before buying. after that we walked to another shopping mall. after we went to zara, timberland and mango he decided to take lunch. i was waiting for the right time to tell him... shortly after the food came, i let out the cat from the bag. i took out my conversion card and showed it to him. first few words from his mouth: Xiao ah you. really xiao. You okay or not, do this kind of thing?
i would have been able to control my sadness if he hadnt said that. i turned away and the tears just welled up in my eyes. he quickly changed topic but i didnt stop crying. i told myself i need to stop because i wanted to talk and let it out of my chest. he asked me why am i still so emo since it wasnt a recent thingy. so i told him roughly about the spate of incidents that came shortly after i converted. he asked me if since i had already made the decision, i should have anticipated such response from people. people should train you to be able to control or be in charge of your emos when it comes to handling all different kinds of response from people. of course, i anticipated. but they are just anticipations, arent they? but in reality, they wouldnt happen just like how you anticipated it but rather His will if it should happen like how you have expected it to be.
He related his 'misconceptions' about islam. about islam connecting with 9/11. terrorism. war. if Islam was really that good, then how come i dont see people around me convert from buddhism or taoism to islam but to christianity. i told him about the comfort and truth that islam has brought about to me and i also explained to him simple facts, wanting to clear the air about the 'misunderstood religion' but of course i know this cant be an overnight thing. but anyway, he respected my decision and said that religion are afterall just beliefs. if you think this is good for you, then nobody cant change your mind about it. he asked me if i had any cellgroup or buddy to tag along, so that understanding of the religion is guided correctly just like how his Christianity cellgroup did with 'newcomers' into the religion. buddies? mentor? cellgroup? nope i dont belong to any cellgroup. i used to have a mentor to guide me but i think i'm losing sight and grip from him soon...
emos still not quite stabilised yet. shopping didnt helped as i didnt really went into the shopping mode. was feeling worse, how could i simply anyhow spend my hard earned money right? aarrgghh... should have gone to the beach... haha... i dont know how much time i need. i dont know who can get me out of this. but i know the person that i've always wanted to depend on getting support didnt offer to console or comfort me... well, never mind. sometimes in life, you would just have to learn your lessons the painful way, just like 'falling' out of love. its painful.
we went straight to G2000 boutique. as he browsed around, my eyes were roving around at the guys section too. nope, i wasnt oogling at guys but at their shirts. and guess what, my mind just switch to 'thinking of buying him stuff' mode again. after helping my friend with the choice of shirts to buy, i called him to ask if he needed any pants. he said he needed to try them on before buying. after that we walked to another shopping mall. after we went to zara, timberland and mango he decided to take lunch. i was waiting for the right time to tell him... shortly after the food came, i let out the cat from the bag. i took out my conversion card and showed it to him. first few words from his mouth: Xiao ah you. really xiao. You okay or not, do this kind of thing?
i would have been able to control my sadness if he hadnt said that. i turned away and the tears just welled up in my eyes. he quickly changed topic but i didnt stop crying. i told myself i need to stop because i wanted to talk and let it out of my chest. he asked me why am i still so emo since it wasnt a recent thingy. so i told him roughly about the spate of incidents that came shortly after i converted. he asked me if since i had already made the decision, i should have anticipated such response from people. people should train you to be able to control or be in charge of your emos when it comes to handling all different kinds of response from people. of course, i anticipated. but they are just anticipations, arent they? but in reality, they wouldnt happen just like how you anticipated it but rather His will if it should happen like how you have expected it to be.
He related his 'misconceptions' about islam. about islam connecting with 9/11. terrorism. war. if Islam was really that good, then how come i dont see people around me convert from buddhism or taoism to islam but to christianity. i told him about the comfort and truth that islam has brought about to me and i also explained to him simple facts, wanting to clear the air about the 'misunderstood religion' but of course i know this cant be an overnight thing. but anyway, he respected my decision and said that religion are afterall just beliefs. if you think this is good for you, then nobody cant change your mind about it. he asked me if i had any cellgroup or buddy to tag along, so that understanding of the religion is guided correctly just like how his Christianity cellgroup did with 'newcomers' into the religion. buddies? mentor? cellgroup? nope i dont belong to any cellgroup. i used to have a mentor to guide me but i think i'm losing sight and grip from him soon...
emos still not quite stabilised yet. shopping didnt helped as i didnt really went into the shopping mode. was feeling worse, how could i simply anyhow spend my hard earned money right? aarrgghh... should have gone to the beach... haha... i dont know how much time i need. i dont know who can get me out of this. but i know the person that i've always wanted to depend on getting support didnt offer to console or comfort me... well, never mind. sometimes in life, you would just have to learn your lessons the painful way, just like 'falling' out of love. its painful.
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