Monday, September 29, 2008

Ramadhan has left us....again

Assalamualaikum wa rahmatullahi wa barakatuh everyone,

It is indeed another sad day. Tarawih prayers has ended on this Monday night.... and I still don't get to savour it...no fasting.. no iftar... no tarawih.

I burnt my last 10 days of Ramadan. I couldn't get to pray my night prayers. The initial plan of waking up earlier to perform some dzikir couldn't be carried out either because I was so tired that i couldn't bring myself to wake up.

There goes the 'Night of Power'.

Somehow, i felt like a 'bankrupt' during this Ramadan.

O Allah, if you had willed this to happen, please make it easy for me!

Monday, September 22, 2008

Blessings Of Laylatul Qadr

This article had appeared in Berita Harian on 19 September '08, page 18. Of course, I couldn't understand. But alhamdulillah, may Allah swt rewards the ones who translated the article and forwarded to other Muslims. Surely, I also want to be part of this and get some rewards of sharing with other Muslims.

Hikmah of the Night of Lailatulqadar

Hadith relates that when Prophet Muhammad s.a.w was given the sight of the people before him who were blessed with the ability to reach long life, hence able to accumulate much ibadah or rewards - the Prophet then realized that his followers would not be able to do so due to our shorter life span.

Hence, Allah blesses Rasulullah with the Night ofLailatul qadar which is worth in rewards of 1,000 months. Hadith relates "On the Night of Lailatu qadar the numbers of Malaikat-Angels that descend to earth will be much more than those of the gravels/pebbles.

The doors of heaven will be open and the curtain that separate the earth and heavenly universe will be lifted. The lifting of curtain separates the governance of the sky/heaven and earth. It will transmit a stream/gush of light which enable the pious or obedient to see Angels in its original self in the act of prostration, zikir, doingtasbih and tahlil. The lifting of the curtain of Heaven will also enable the sight of its heavenly beauty.

Some saw the places of Prophets, Walis and Syuhadahs,while some saw the content of Hell. For some the curtain between them and Allah s.wt. will be lifted. Hadith relates Rasulullah favoured those who stay awake on the night of 27th Ramadan till subuh rather than those who does ibadah on every night of Ramadan.

Sayidatina Fatimah ra daughter of Rasulullah ask Rasul the prescribed act for one who is not capable of doing ibadah on that night.The Prophet replied that one should not sleep instead try to extend their doas and supplication to Allah even if it is for a brief moment.Many ulamas felt besides 27th of Ramadan, the Night of Lailatulqadar can also happen on 21st, 23rd or 25th of Ramadan. Wallahua'lam - Allah knows best.

Hadith relates that on the last 10 days of Ramadan, Rasulullah woke up from his sleep in the night to do ibadah with the hope of increasing his obedience to Allah and to enlighten his spiritual soul. He equated the act of sleeping to be that of death. It has been the practice of Rasulullah to 'iktikaf' or stay in the mosque for the last 10 days with his family. This shows that it is the responsibility of the leader/father to guide his family to show the way to be close to Allah. I guess this mean that it is not just the man who is to do 'iktikaf' in the mosque; he has to encourage his family to come along. Due to our busy work schedule it would be a good effort to try stay at least 1 night in the mosque if not take leave and stay 10 days-nights or 10 nights for Ramadan which comes only once a year.

It is also the month where Al-Qur'an was revealed.

So my husband told me, that whosoever had 'hit' the night of Laylatul Qadr, will taste the sea water sweet instead of salty. So I asked him; 'How do you know?' Do we go to the beach, bring home some sea water, and drink it after every odd night?' He looked at me as though i doubted what he said. Immediately, i replied and said;' Yeah, it's true. That's the only way we could prove it right?' He still thought that I was joking.

O Allah! Please put illuminate our eyes and heart with the noor of the Quran. amin.

Sunday, September 21, 2008

Last 10 days of Ramadan

This is the part I dread most.

Bidding farewell to my favourite month: RAMADAN

Soon, the month of mercies, blessings and abundance of forgiveness from my Lord will leave US.

Soon, the month where Shaytan and his protege were shackled up so that the servants of Allah swt could worship Him with full concentration will leave US. (and if the servant did not, know that it is man himself who is the 'devil' who succumb to his own nafsul and hawa).

Soon, the month where fasting alone, earns rewards that only Allah swt has the authority to reward His servants; where forgiveness is granted by Allah swt to anyone who fasts with the intention for Him alone, will leave US.

Soon, the month where we do not have to fight shaytan to do alot of ibadah towards Allah swt will leave US. (and Ust Feisal said; this is the month where ibadah taste sweet. Do you?)

And before, we bid farewell to Ramadan, Muslims await for the 'Night of Power', also known as Laylatul Qadr; or better known to be a night better than a thousand nights.

Masya Allah. And we are told to seek it on the odd nights of the last 10 nights of Ramadan.

I was REALLY REALLY LOOKING FORWARD to THIS NIGHT.......

I was toying with the idea of 'procrastinating' the arrival of 'Mother Nature', so that my solat and ibadah will not be disturbed towards the last 10 days of Ramadan.

Indeed, it is Allah swt who decrees and none will be able to run away from it.

Saddening to know, 'Mother Nature' decides to knock on my door and destroy my dream of chasing the 'Laylatul Qadr'.

Allah swt knows best.

He knew that I needed Him.

So on the 1st night of the last 10 nights, at 1am in the morning, somehow I couldn't sleep.

Though, I couldn't pray, I took wudu and wore my telerkung. Sitting on my prayer mat and remembered all my bad deeds. I did my istigfar and I reflected on the sins that I had committed, and I really prayed very hard to Him for forgiveness. I cried and cried, hoping that it will be accepted. I prayed very hard to Allah, that He will guide my heart towards sincere repentance.

O Allah! Please don't let Ramadan leave me, without forgiving my sins! You know the state of my affairs and my heart. Only through you, will my heart attains sakinah. And, only through your Mercy, my heart can be cleansed!
Please don't leave me to fend for myself!

Monday, September 15, 2008

O Allah! Please forgive me!

Ramadan is a gift of Mercy.

Prophet s.a.w said this about Ramadan:
"Its beginning is mercy, its middle is forgiveness, and its ending is liberation from the Hellfire."(Ibn Khuzaymah, Al-Sahih)

We have passed the first 10days of mercy.

Now, we have entered the middle of Ramadan, where forgiveness is granted upon us, if we ask Allah. Invoke Allah for forgiveness. Repent to Allah for your sins and supplicate with raised hands at the times of prayer as these are the best times, during which Allah Almighty looks at His servants with mercy. Allah answers if we supplicate, responds if we call upon Him, and grants if He is asked, and accepts if we entreat.

Prophet s.a.w said: 'Your back may break from the heavy load of your sins, so prostrate yourself before Allah for long intervals, and make this load lighter.'

O Allah! I admit all my mistakes to you, for you are the all Hearing, all Knowing and all Seeing.
And none can forgive sins except you, so please forgive me and accept my repentance. Guide my heart towards true and sincere repentation, ya Allah!

This Ramadan, I felt so far apart from my Lord. Perhaps it's my sins. or perhaps it's the black and tainted heart, that causes my Lord to be mad at me. I am angry with myself because i have made Him angry.

Ya Allah! Please don't distance away from me. I need You.

Wednesday, September 10, 2008

10 days of Ramadan

"O you who believe, fasting is decreed for you as it was decreed for those before you; perchance you will guard yourselves. (2:183)

10 days have passed in the month of Ramadan.

Have you made any resolutions to change or improve things in your life this Ramadan?

I’ve made a resolution to TRY and kick all my bad habits away. And there’s not much of a progress shown on my report card.

DANGER!!!

4 years ago, when I was still new to the religion, I was only fasting from food and drinks. I saw myself looking at my watch repeatedly every 30 minutes towards the end of the day, wondering to myself: ‘why is time tickling away so slowly?’ If not, I would then think about where to go and what to eat later.

A year later, after I say my ‘Testimony of Faith’, and as I began to learn more, fasting became less of a burden. Thoughts about feeling thirsty and hungry during the day hardly occurred, but I admit the part of not looking at things prohibited and not uttering nonsense or unnecessary things when I am fasting took me quite a bit of time to overcome it.

Alhamdulilah. Praise be to God. Who has guided me on the Straight Path. Has given me strength and perseverance to overcome the obstacles I faced at home when I was fasting.

Ramadan is a time of reflection.

Have I become a better Muslim after each Ramadan? Or have I gone back to my old ways/habits after Syawal? Have I turned into a hypocrite in Ramadan, that all goodness from me only comes during Ramadan?

Allah swt has bestowed again, upon Muslims, the mercies and blessings that Ramadan brings. But have I truly made use of this time, to perfect my worship, to increase my ibadah and His Pleasure upon me, and to intend all my actions for the sake of Him alone? I even wanted to perfect my servanthood towards Allah swt. But have I sincerely done so?

Perhaps not.

And 10 days of Ramadan have passed.

I cry silently in my Terawih prayers, hoping and praying to Allah swt that He sends down His Mercy and blessings and guidance upon me always.


May Allah swt gives all Muslims the strenth and vigour for ibadah, and bestow upon us the night of Laylatul Qadr, a night that is better than a thousand nights. Amin.

[afternote: Increase your ibadah and night prayers during the last 10 days of Ramadan. Who can live a thousand years?]