would it be over soon?

Everytime i face problems at work, i dont know why but i would prefer to go to my 'ex-huney', which is Linus* of course to vent, complain or to find solace. that's because he used to care more about me before the saga began. probably the difference between then and now, might be the lesser gifts he received, so would the attention and concern be reduced as well. but since he's gone, i would probably put up a notice like this to find him back.

so before he responds to the ad, (praying for miracles)i would probably hold my tongue about the misfortunates that i've once again landed myself in during the course of my work. i thought i could free myself from the clutches of my marketing manager since i've changed my scope of work recently but due to her jealously or selfishness whatever you wanna call it, she reprimanded me for silly things. things which were of no significance. but because its coming from her, and additionaly with the scarring of my previous BAD experiences with her, i had an emotional outburst because i just could take it lying down that she would take her chance at me for every stoopid little detail she can think of to get back at me.

it might sound so silly of me to resign just because of the incident. but even though i do not have to report to her anymore as of 19.9.2005, i am still getting the shi** daylight out from her! i should have snapped at the very first job offer i was given. but now,i've got to work much harder. even if it meant sending 50 resumes per 30minutes. 1 hour = 100 resumes. 8 hours = 800resumes x 5days per week = 4000 resumes. i will still need to do it.

i think it would be more silly to stick my face around and think that money could be traded with happiness. i don't wanna become aperson who has been afflicted with so much fear that i've become a gal who became so fearful and so low in confidence about myself and the things around me. i still remember there was an occassion. i was in the toilet. there were 3 cubicles. one was 'rosak' so left with two. lunchtime was usually crowded. i was almost done when i heard that high pitch voice of hers. i was contemplating to exit because she was passing comments outside:
Monster manager:"aiyo, why so long? lao sai ah? aiyo, fainted ah?"
someone else then asked; " when are they going to repair the toilet?"
Manager replied:" no spare parts la. aiyo, why still havent come out?" stuck ah? anybody knows who's inside?"
She complains like this with more rude remarks for like 7minutes. would you come out if you were me? maybe u would. but i wouldnt. because i know i'm gonna get more than just shi**y h** if i were to exit. i had to wait till the 'coast is clear'. i was in such a sorrow state. that i had to hide in the toilet like this.

okay,i need some sleep. almost 3am liao. i'm gonna turn out to be a big Panda bear tomorrow.
good nitez...