P.M.S

Pre Menstrual Syndrome. happens when its 'nearing' that time of the month. some called it the 'bloody mary' month. others termed it the 'pre-ovulation' month while Sammi Cheng actually called it 'AV'. stands for auntie visit.

If you are a husband to your wife, by now you would understands her emos already. If you are a boyfriend to your girlfriend, if she gets angry with you over something insignificant or being simply unreasonable, for sure that 'time of the month' has arrived. this is the TIME when we are feeling a little more sensitive and emotional about every minutest thing. even my mum is not spared. she has not entered menopause so she's extremely fierce when it's nearing... haha. lucky she doesnt surf my blog.

and recently, everything seemed to be moving in the wrong direction. i just longed for someone close by my heart to be concerned, to be asking about my journey on this straight path. longed for support. sometimes i found myself asking; "would i fare better if the reason of conversion was because of a partner or would i be worse than now?" and sometimes i cant help but envied those couples in my class. but being envious of someone else is not a good thing from a religious perspective because it would stir the 'satan' in you. we need to create more goodness than stirring up the 'satanic' desires. i knew there's only one thing that could help me. because i didnt quite get better after my '2nd call'. because the moment i reached the office, i became low-spirited, sad, teary, emotional and all my problems started flooding back again. off-peak PMS = no peer support, never mind. peak of PMS = why am i all alone? that's the cycle. i need to spin myself out of that. but i know i cant because i really felt lost at times but just never showed it. and suddenly, my heart yearns for the hugs i used to get from Linus*. but since it's impossible now, no point dwelling on the impossibilities.

but still, i spend 20mins on it before i focused my attention on trying to 'revive' myself. so i click and surf the links onmy sidebar and saw this verse that best suits anyone at any time of the day, month, year... here's how it goes:

If you do not deceive your Lord and turn back to Him, you’ll find Him welcoming you with open arms. In this is indeed a reason to rejoice. So, never lose hope and never stop trying. ‘The Lord is your shepherd. You shall not want. He shall make you lie down in green pastures: He shall lead you beside the still waters. He shall restore your soul: He shall lead you in the path of righteousness for His name’s sake. Though you walk through the valley of the shadow of death, fear not; for you are with Him. His rod and His staff shall comfort you.’

So hasten people.... return to Him.... (: