Have anyone of you ever wondered how did this Xmas day come about? if it derives from the birth of Jesus Christ, does it mean that only Christians celebrate? but unlikely not... people or rather believers of other faiths do join in the fun of exchanging prezzies (i was one of them too)... the fun based on the philosophy of giving and sharing, or passing around love to the people around you...
and this year marks a different identity for me. so i'm leaving Xmas out. no xmas cards, no prezzies and no parties... it's not a sad thing, and it doesnt mean that i've stopped loving, giving or sharing... without xmas, i'm still doing it 24/7 (except when i'm sleeping though!) skipping xmas it's also a good opportunity to save loads of money on cards and postages. but i think i can still use up the remaining cards from last year... hmmm... nope i can't... too late for that liao...
except that i had to prepare 5 presents because 3 were my colleagues and 2 others were my class mates. i didnt prepare any xmas gifts for Linus* this year. ever since last year preparation for his xmas present, i've kinda exhausted all ideas on what to give him. i gave him all sorts of vouchers (with stored value r and its redeemable @ anytime) for all kinds of scenarios. to date, i couldnt recall if he ever used them. perhaps he thinks that they are useless and childish, ignoring the fact that i realli realli thought about this whole thing for so long...
anyway, i spent my christmas eve, half day at work and another half day outside alone. in a less crowded sub urban area. then around evening, i popped by my friend's shop. the guy was there not long after i arrived. wondered if anyone sent him a mail that i was here. after browsing at her new arrivals, i prepared for prayers. thereafter i went for religious classes with my friends at lavender street..
today,i stayed at home all day long... except when i went out to the coffeeshop to get chicken wings. finally got the chance to dine with my brother because he's HOME. we didnt talk much because our eyes were glued to the TV.
well, christmas to me now seems just like a normal day, passing by me in a blink of my eyes...
but i can still wish the readers of this boring blog;
Merry Christmas and more importantly, have a Great New Year in 2006!!!
Sunday, December 25, 2005
Saturday, December 17, 2005
Post D&D updates...
Phew!! The dinner&dance didnt turn out as scary as i imagined. Thank God, i wasn't the odd looking one in the entire ballroom. there were other employees who didnt dressed up as directed. and as me and my other colleagues were waiting for the doors to be opened again (because we were late) we saw some dressed to kill, and some dressed to win the 'Best Dressed Table' for the night... There was Flintstones, South African tribe, the Red indians, the Safaris people etc... they really wore the attire that the Flintstones wore!! sorry guys, no digicam yet. no photos to upload for you to see...
i was given a muslim table. and was seated with several other people whom i dont know which department were they from. nope my colleague wasnt seating with me. and because i was late, the only seat left was facing the door and the stage was behind me. when i got seated, they looked at me as though i was an alien. i ignored the stares and decide to enjoy the performances. the sales presentation was very long and my stomach was growling with hunger. my colleauge told me that there was an empty seat at her table but i told her that i need to stay here a little longer because i was very hungry. and guess what, when i was almost done filling my stomach, she had left with her boyfriend.
so i stayed on for the lucky draw. the prizes were enormous and attractive. the Flintstones won the big prize of $3888 cash prize for the Best Dressed table. the top three prizes were trips overseas with a few thousand dollars for shopping... and the Grand prize was a trip for 2 to Paris with $3000 spending power! oh no, i didnt get anything from there.
after the lucky draw, most of the employees left... maybe the party animals stayed... though there was no prize for me, but at least i managed to enjoy a sumptuous 7 course dinner.
i was given a muslim table. and was seated with several other people whom i dont know which department were they from. nope my colleague wasnt seating with me. and because i was late, the only seat left was facing the door and the stage was behind me. when i got seated, they looked at me as though i was an alien. i ignored the stares and decide to enjoy the performances. the sales presentation was very long and my stomach was growling with hunger. my colleauge told me that there was an empty seat at her table but i told her that i need to stay here a little longer because i was very hungry. and guess what, when i was almost done filling my stomach, she had left with her boyfriend.
so i stayed on for the lucky draw. the prizes were enormous and attractive. the Flintstones won the big prize of $3888 cash prize for the Best Dressed table. the top three prizes were trips overseas with a few thousand dollars for shopping... and the Grand prize was a trip for 2 to Paris with $3000 spending power! oh no, i didnt get anything from there.
after the lucky draw, most of the employees left... maybe the party animals stayed... though there was no prize for me, but at least i managed to enjoy a sumptuous 7 course dinner.
Friday, December 16, 2005
Pre dinner and dance blues
Update!!!
Work is still as busy... stress is piling up... the hours of sleep needing to make up is accumulating day by day... sometimes i find myself asking this question: "do i really have to work so hard to get this much of money?but i'm not commanding a high post or a high salaried job?" i hope when things slowed down, there's time to take a break before i get posted to another project site...
Personal life... didnt get better... though i'm working near where Linus* stays, we still couldnt meet up as often. this used to bug me alot but as work tolls me away, i don't have the time to think about such matters anymore. i mean i still think about it (literally) but lesser frequency... haha... there were kind and concerned souls leaving comments, suggesting that i have a talk with him. thanks folks, this method has been tried and tested. It didnt work on him! i've tried many ways but all failed. perhaps its a sign to give up hope and let go... maybe it's the issue of being 'something different'... i realli dun know...
On the lighter side of life, islamic classes on thursdays are still as interesting as ever. ustaz had listed down close to 80 types of enormities to avoid... i went WOWwww.... wow, not because i'm fascinated but 'wowdering' how to avoid them... i dont consider myself as an exemplary muslim (as yet) but i'm trying hard working on it. well, not to Show Off definitely but just for my good old sake... i'll be looking forward to the next class, whereby he would be elaborating on all the enormities that he has given...
tomorrow is our company's dinner and dance. being a new employee of this co, no matter what, you have to make known your attendance otherwise your bosses will 'mark' you and brand you 'anti social'. true or not? it's a SURVIVOR theme and i'm not going there in any greenish make up or camo attire. simply 'borrowing' the colours of the theme by wearing a green and brownish scarf i borrowed from my friend, a green jacket i bought online from my friend's junk shop and my kaki-coloured pants. TahDa!!! the last thing on my mind is not to be the odd one out in the entire ballroom. that would be the scariest and most hatted moments if that's gonna happen!
I think the best consolation would be looking forward to the food.... Oopss, i hope i didnt sound like a glutton...
Work is still as busy... stress is piling up... the hours of sleep needing to make up is accumulating day by day... sometimes i find myself asking this question: "do i really have to work so hard to get this much of money?but i'm not commanding a high post or a high salaried job?" i hope when things slowed down, there's time to take a break before i get posted to another project site...
Personal life... didnt get better... though i'm working near where Linus* stays, we still couldnt meet up as often. this used to bug me alot but as work tolls me away, i don't have the time to think about such matters anymore. i mean i still think about it (literally) but lesser frequency... haha... there were kind and concerned souls leaving comments, suggesting that i have a talk with him. thanks folks, this method has been tried and tested. It didnt work on him! i've tried many ways but all failed. perhaps its a sign to give up hope and let go... maybe it's the issue of being 'something different'... i realli dun know...
On the lighter side of life, islamic classes on thursdays are still as interesting as ever. ustaz had listed down close to 80 types of enormities to avoid... i went WOWwww.... wow, not because i'm fascinated but 'wowdering' how to avoid them... i dont consider myself as an exemplary muslim (as yet) but i'm trying hard working on it. well, not to Show Off definitely but just for my good old sake... i'll be looking forward to the next class, whereby he would be elaborating on all the enormities that he has given...
tomorrow is our company's dinner and dance. being a new employee of this co, no matter what, you have to make known your attendance otherwise your bosses will 'mark' you and brand you 'anti social'. true or not? it's a SURVIVOR theme and i'm not going there in any greenish make up or camo attire. simply 'borrowing' the colours of the theme by wearing a green and brownish scarf i borrowed from my friend, a green jacket i bought online from my friend's junk shop and my kaki-coloured pants. TahDa!!! the last thing on my mind is not to be the odd one out in the entire ballroom. that would be the scariest and most hatted moments if that's gonna happen!
I think the best consolation would be looking forward to the food.... Oopss, i hope i didnt sound like a glutton...
Tuesday, December 13, 2005
catching up...
Its been almost a month since i started on this new job. so many things have changed ever since i took up this job offer. i can't surf or blog as often as i could the last time i was with my previous company, times where i could knock off on the dot and dont have to work OT or worry a single bit about work, and i don't get so much of pressures from customers.
well, its not that i couldnt handle the stress... i'm not alone. my colleagues are suffering at times too... the only consolation is that we have one another to pour out our woes and anger. we would sometimes laugh at one another about the way we handle their problems. they would start cursing or swearing at their customers, well, err hemm... me, as a muslim, cursing and swearing vulgarities would be the last thing on my mind. but actually, it shouldnt exist at all. The furthest i've gone would just be: " Irritating/Sickening piece of S*&??!! " Ooopsss... i know this shouldnt happen. everytime, i would quickly ask for God's forgiveness...
and that swift and prompt response i've developed seemed to be working when i'm performing my prayers regularly... but i've realised that my indecent language resulted in the 5days off i've taken due to M.N. Oh my dear God, please help me............. and my colleague as well... and yeah, i've got another muslim colleague. she's a Capital M muslim. a Modern era one. no prayers. no tudung. menu 60% halal only. and vulgarities are common. i'm not picking on her but rather she has my sympathies. why? because of all the above + she wasnt supportive of the religion that she was born with.
so this afternoon, i was pissed off (to the brink of going nuts) by an owner. after hanging up the line, i couldnt control and went F*%&. my other female chinese colleague heard and told my malay colleague. she laughed and then told me to take out my tudung because i sweared. I quickly prayed to God in silence asking for forgiveness. i didnt mean it but i just couldnt take it!!!!! Previously, she also told me not to wear my tudung to a Dinner&Dance. i dont know why she would say that but i sincerely prayed to God that she would return back to shore soon.... the reason why i tell you this serves as a reminder to others if you heed the advice...
as for myself, i need to practise more self-constraint....... cant let this happen anymore!!
well, its not that i couldnt handle the stress... i'm not alone. my colleagues are suffering at times too... the only consolation is that we have one another to pour out our woes and anger. we would sometimes laugh at one another about the way we handle their problems. they would start cursing or swearing at their customers, well, err hemm... me, as a muslim, cursing and swearing vulgarities would be the last thing on my mind. but actually, it shouldnt exist at all. The furthest i've gone would just be: " Irritating/Sickening piece of S*&??!! " Ooopsss... i know this shouldnt happen. everytime, i would quickly ask for God's forgiveness...
and that swift and prompt response i've developed seemed to be working when i'm performing my prayers regularly... but i've realised that my indecent language resulted in the 5days off i've taken due to M.N. Oh my dear God, please help me............. and my colleague as well... and yeah, i've got another muslim colleague. she's a Capital M muslim. a Modern era one. no prayers. no tudung. menu 60% halal only. and vulgarities are common. i'm not picking on her but rather she has my sympathies. why? because of all the above + she wasnt supportive of the religion that she was born with.
so this afternoon, i was pissed off (to the brink of going nuts) by an owner. after hanging up the line, i couldnt control and went F*%&. my other female chinese colleague heard and told my malay colleague. she laughed and then told me to take out my tudung because i sweared. I quickly prayed to God in silence asking for forgiveness. i didnt mean it but i just couldnt take it!!!!! Previously, she also told me not to wear my tudung to a Dinner&Dance. i dont know why she would say that but i sincerely prayed to God that she would return back to shore soon.... the reason why i tell you this serves as a reminder to others if you heed the advice...
as for myself, i need to practise more self-constraint....... cant let this happen anymore!!
Saturday, November 26, 2005
Great finds in the library
I always have this thought in my mind.
"How would the library ever survive and still continue to bring in new books, and the libraries are also becoming bigger and better when books are rented out free to ALMOST every singaporean?"
this question has bugged me ever since i became a young and loyal bookworm of a library located near my house. i remembered i used to own many books, i began to start out a 'rental service' to my fellow young neighbours who wanted to borrow my books. i became a librarian in the neighbourhood on the 8th of my HDB estate. i didnt know why but the interest was there to play many many games with your fellow mates and the usual ones had already began to bore me so i decided to set up a library in my home. my parents home actually.
when i grew up, i think i would relate the libraries survival would probably be due to the fact that it's under government funding. i still haven't got any proof but i think i'm more likely correct.
ever since my interest in islam grew, one of the reasons of visiting the library was to find some good books about islam. and amazingly, the books i saw were of good material and content. they were informative and useful. some books also covered basic understanding of the religion which are relatively important when everyone now has misunderstood islam.
last week, i borrowed 3 books from the library. one of it was intended for my mum. because the book covered basic questions about the concept of islam and terrorism. but unfortunately, after i had finished with it, i was left with 8days to let her finish. hurrily, i left a note and placed it together with the book, telling her to read in her leisure. but i noticed that she had left it untouched for several days. as the due was approaching, i took the book back. the next day, she asked me for the book because she said she was beginning to be less busy. Hahaa... i told her i had to get it back because i was afraid of leaving that out when i had to return the books on time.
when i returned the books back one day later, i saw another book titled 'world faiths: Islam' displayed in the 'NEW' section. decided to borrow that for my mum again. that book was great too because it has more pictures and covers more topics than the previous one, in a more positive manner.
too bad, the library doesnt do any trade in or selling of their books. i enjoyed this particular book so i kept renewing. i wonder if binding and recopying of the whole book is allowed or not??
"How would the library ever survive and still continue to bring in new books, and the libraries are also becoming bigger and better when books are rented out free to ALMOST every singaporean?"
this question has bugged me ever since i became a young and loyal bookworm of a library located near my house. i remembered i used to own many books, i began to start out a 'rental service' to my fellow young neighbours who wanted to borrow my books. i became a librarian in the neighbourhood on the 8th of my HDB estate. i didnt know why but the interest was there to play many many games with your fellow mates and the usual ones had already began to bore me so i decided to set up a library in my home. my parents home actually.
when i grew up, i think i would relate the libraries survival would probably be due to the fact that it's under government funding. i still haven't got any proof but i think i'm more likely correct.
ever since my interest in islam grew, one of the reasons of visiting the library was to find some good books about islam. and amazingly, the books i saw were of good material and content. they were informative and useful. some books also covered basic understanding of the religion which are relatively important when everyone now has misunderstood islam.
last week, i borrowed 3 books from the library. one of it was intended for my mum. because the book covered basic questions about the concept of islam and terrorism. but unfortunately, after i had finished with it, i was left with 8days to let her finish. hurrily, i left a note and placed it together with the book, telling her to read in her leisure. but i noticed that she had left it untouched for several days. as the due was approaching, i took the book back. the next day, she asked me for the book because she said she was beginning to be less busy. Hahaa... i told her i had to get it back because i was afraid of leaving that out when i had to return the books on time.
when i returned the books back one day later, i saw another book titled 'world faiths: Islam' displayed in the 'NEW' section. decided to borrow that for my mum again. that book was great too because it has more pictures and covers more topics than the previous one, in a more positive manner.
too bad, the library doesnt do any trade in or selling of their books. i enjoyed this particular book so i kept renewing. i wonder if binding and recopying of the whole book is allowed or not??
Tuesday, November 22, 2005
Long and peaceful dinner
This opportunity was hard to come by. ever since i embarked on this new job, i think to have an opportunity to have a long peaceful and enjoyable dinner with Linus* would be like a dream come true to me.
i made an arrangement with my previous co to hand over my duties to the new staff, henceforth i could knock off from work ON TIME. so that explains the reason i could meet Linus* for dinner. i told myself that i would really love to have a lengthy dinner where we could chat longer. (on other occassions, it was like a 'chop chop' sessions)
after our individual committments, we decided to have a sumptuous dinner at swensens. and i told him i would treat him. but unfortunately, the place that we went was down with car park problems so we had a change of plans : PizzaHut. when we reached the restaurant, we quickly decided on the set meal which cost about 23.95dollars. it consisted of two soups, two drinks, a salad and a regular size pizza. we ordered an additional side of criss cross fries with salsa sauce. after ordering he asked me what was the occassion that calls for the treat, i said nothing la, just felt an urge to have a good dinner. (but inside my heart, this would actually so-called bribe him in giving me more time to spent with him) you know what, coffeeshop meals are so fast. once you finish, chop chop, you go home. good bye. good night. so boring right? at least places that pizzahut or swensens has a better ambience. i wouldnt mind paying if i can get to spend more time with him. you may think i'm foolish, but this foolishness might wear off soon. i think. if his attitude towards me is still..... hmmm...
anyway, it was a fruitful treat. a good dinner. and a fulfilling one. we ate and savoured it slowly. like as though making every cent spend worthwhile. not wasting a single mm of cheese on the pan... haha...
how i wished if all dinners forthcoming would be that long and worthwhile... weekdays are impossible since there isnt much time. weekends are even HIGHLY IMPOSSIBLE since i'm not up to his standard to be able to cater for weekend slots in his timetable...
nevertheless, i'm keeping my fingers crossed... (:
i made an arrangement with my previous co to hand over my duties to the new staff, henceforth i could knock off from work ON TIME. so that explains the reason i could meet Linus* for dinner. i told myself that i would really love to have a lengthy dinner where we could chat longer. (on other occassions, it was like a 'chop chop' sessions)
after our individual committments, we decided to have a sumptuous dinner at swensens. and i told him i would treat him. but unfortunately, the place that we went was down with car park problems so we had a change of plans : PizzaHut. when we reached the restaurant, we quickly decided on the set meal which cost about 23.95dollars. it consisted of two soups, two drinks, a salad and a regular size pizza. we ordered an additional side of criss cross fries with salsa sauce. after ordering he asked me what was the occassion that calls for the treat, i said nothing la, just felt an urge to have a good dinner. (but inside my heart, this would actually so-called bribe him in giving me more time to spent with him) you know what, coffeeshop meals are so fast. once you finish, chop chop, you go home. good bye. good night. so boring right? at least places that pizzahut or swensens has a better ambience. i wouldnt mind paying if i can get to spend more time with him. you may think i'm foolish, but this foolishness might wear off soon. i think. if his attitude towards me is still..... hmmm...
anyway, it was a fruitful treat. a good dinner. and a fulfilling one. we ate and savoured it slowly. like as though making every cent spend worthwhile. not wasting a single mm of cheese on the pan... haha...
how i wished if all dinners forthcoming would be that long and worthwhile... weekdays are impossible since there isnt much time. weekends are even HIGHLY IMPOSSIBLE since i'm not up to his standard to be able to cater for weekend slots in his timetable...
nevertheless, i'm keeping my fingers crossed... (:
Friday, November 18, 2005
Walking advertisement
So here i am. in a challenging job environment when everything that has to be learnt comes from an industry i could never imagine that i would be landing myself in.
Of course i'm positive towards these new challenges, though by nature i had been quite a pessimist so it had been really a tough week out there. having less than a week to pick up all the new terms in the construction field and learning how to provide solutions in a 'customer orientated' manner viz-a-viz through their defects. it's as though, in order to get into the good books of the owners, many things have to be rectified and correctly changed according otherwise, you will get lots of pressurizing stuff from them...
So in my new job, i get to clad myself in tudung. i wanted it and it really happened! so here i am : a chinese muslim who is unable to speak Malay. but becuase of the tudung, i was mistaken as a Malay by many, in hundreds by now...
i didnt want to let them know that i'm a chinese by birth, not because i'm ashamed to be one but i thought that it would be better in a way that i can get to hear things which they didnt want us to hear. wouldnt that be an advantage? heehee... but there were certain occassions i gave myself away because my other chinese colleague had called me and i blurted out some chinese words. and they started asking me; " So are you a chinese or malay?" then i had to explain what's my status etc etc...
People mainly were interested to find out :"why did you convert? how did your parents reacted? and is your husband or boyfriend malay?" There were only two people who were more interested to ask me questions: one was a carpenter and the other was my chinese colleauge. first one being perceptive and the latter being receptive. whatever i told her, she listened attentively and asked serious questions. the carpenter was interested to find out what Islam teaches because he was curious about the recent happenings about the bombings. so i explained to him in chinese, something i never tried before. haahaa, not because i cant speak chinese but my medium of learning had always been English. so it became quite difficult to find the appropriate terms.
but anyway, i would be glad to share the good things about islam, if anyone is interested...
Of course i'm positive towards these new challenges, though by nature i had been quite a pessimist so it had been really a tough week out there. having less than a week to pick up all the new terms in the construction field and learning how to provide solutions in a 'customer orientated' manner viz-a-viz through their defects. it's as though, in order to get into the good books of the owners, many things have to be rectified and correctly changed according otherwise, you will get lots of pressurizing stuff from them...
So in my new job, i get to clad myself in tudung. i wanted it and it really happened! so here i am : a chinese muslim who is unable to speak Malay. but becuase of the tudung, i was mistaken as a Malay by many, in hundreds by now...
i didnt want to let them know that i'm a chinese by birth, not because i'm ashamed to be one but i thought that it would be better in a way that i can get to hear things which they didnt want us to hear. wouldnt that be an advantage? heehee... but there were certain occassions i gave myself away because my other chinese colleague had called me and i blurted out some chinese words. and they started asking me; " So are you a chinese or malay?" then i had to explain what's my status etc etc...
People mainly were interested to find out :"why did you convert? how did your parents reacted? and is your husband or boyfriend malay?" There were only two people who were more interested to ask me questions: one was a carpenter and the other was my chinese colleauge. first one being perceptive and the latter being receptive. whatever i told her, she listened attentively and asked serious questions. the carpenter was interested to find out what Islam teaches because he was curious about the recent happenings about the bombings. so i explained to him in chinese, something i never tried before. haahaa, not because i cant speak chinese but my medium of learning had always been English. so it became quite difficult to find the appropriate terms.
but anyway, i would be glad to share the good things about islam, if anyone is interested...
Monday, November 14, 2005
Men in sweat with their green uniform
Can you guess who and what i'm talking about?
Yes, Linus* has gone to serve 4 days of reservist this week. yeah, so during this 4 days, we wont get to have dinner together let alone talk to each other often. he would be stuck in field training, or if not retiring early for the night because he needs to wake up early the next day...
the purpose of me writing this post is because i've suddenly recalled something really funny last year. the same time while he's doing his reservist. i asked him if he sleeps in his bunk half naked like what he did the previous year and he replied me by saying he didnt dare because this year he had extra load of fats on his body and he felt shy sleeping naked, showing off the 'extras'.
I never thought guys would be that vain. or would be that concerned about the 'extra load' on them... but i wish to clarify that doesnt constitute towards the meaning of being a 'sissy' or a faggot. would you gals prefer to see your man fat or thin? i think it's very individualistic right?
and the other funny thing is; even though after all that exercises on the field, he doesnt stink. and he doesnt smell. i actually smelled him when he was near me. haha.. am i a sicko? i missed him la, that's why i just wanna get close to him at any costs. or risk damaging my nose pipe. haha...
last year's reservist was a bit more fun and memorable. this year's might be a little bit quiet.
Yes, Linus* has gone to serve 4 days of reservist this week. yeah, so during this 4 days, we wont get to have dinner together let alone talk to each other often. he would be stuck in field training, or if not retiring early for the night because he needs to wake up early the next day...
the purpose of me writing this post is because i've suddenly recalled something really funny last year. the same time while he's doing his reservist. i asked him if he sleeps in his bunk half naked like what he did the previous year and he replied me by saying he didnt dare because this year he had extra load of fats on his body and he felt shy sleeping naked, showing off the 'extras'.
I never thought guys would be that vain. or would be that concerned about the 'extra load' on them... but i wish to clarify that doesnt constitute towards the meaning of being a 'sissy' or a faggot. would you gals prefer to see your man fat or thin? i think it's very individualistic right?
and the other funny thing is; even though after all that exercises on the field, he doesnt stink. and he doesnt smell. i actually smelled him when he was near me. haha.. am i a sicko? i missed him la, that's why i just wanna get close to him at any costs. or risk damaging my nose pipe. haha...
last year's reservist was a bit more fun and memorable. this year's might be a little bit quiet.
Saturday, November 12, 2005
S-T-R-E-S-S-E-D! ! !
Yup yup... that's how i feel after working in my new job for a week. Yes, it's only a week and i'm really feeling this stress bugging me over the weekend.
the office's ringing tone bug me, my colleague's ringing tone from her phone also haunt me in my sleep.... to tell you what kind of madness goes around at my new work place, kindly hang on there while i try and come home early to update my blog... otherwise, i'll feel that all my posts are pretty cooped up in my head...
that's about it folks... i will edit and update this posting soon... take care....
the office's ringing tone bug me, my colleague's ringing tone from her phone also haunt me in my sleep.... to tell you what kind of madness goes around at my new work place, kindly hang on there while i try and come home early to update my blog... otherwise, i'll feel that all my posts are pretty cooped up in my head...
that's about it folks... i will edit and update this posting soon... take care....
Wednesday, November 09, 2005
i'm the newbie in the block
If you would have followed me till this post, you would have remembered that i had mentioned about heading towards a different career direction.
yup yup. i've already left my previous company in the accident vehicle reporting industry. and now i'm in the estate and construction field. not quite the physical term of construction per se, but rather doing customer service in the estate management. heard before?
when i was interviewed for this job, it sounded pretty easy. the job responsibilities dished out had painted quite an incredible image of what the position requires of me. but when i really got myself at the actual site, i was actually taken by surprise.
as the name implies, estate management. yeah, i worked for the developer for residential properties in the customer service department. so the project site is made up of developer, contractor and sub contractors to follow up on the purchaser's defects found in the unit lodged by them after an inspection has been carried out. within the Defect Liability Period, the contractor and the developer has to make good for anything defective found within the condominium itself. that would be at least for 12monhts. so before i came, 2 of my other colleagues were taking charge of at least more than 2towers. and one tower has more than 90units. but of course, not all units had been collected even though every SINGLE UNIT has been SOLD. but nevertheless, the files that they carry had so many defects lists which were still outstanding.... and i was told that when i am almost settled down, i had to take over one tower. that would be about 98 units or so...
for a newbie, that's definitely lots of follow up to rectify so that the units could be wonderfully handed (praying hard) over to the owner before they start suing us for not completing the rectifications on time.
so for the past 2days, there were no such things as being able to knock off on the dot at 6.25pm. everybody works till 7.20 at least. i smell something burning. yeah, not just my weeknights are burned, my saturdays morning to pig out on my bed are burnt too. no la, i wont die because i have to OT but rather i just hope that this would not be an everyday affair. i would have other more important committments to attend to. and that worries me. and people, there's more to tell you about my new job.
stick around... it's getting late so i need to fly off to dreamland....
nitezz..... (=
yup yup. i've already left my previous company in the accident vehicle reporting industry. and now i'm in the estate and construction field. not quite the physical term of construction per se, but rather doing customer service in the estate management. heard before?
when i was interviewed for this job, it sounded pretty easy. the job responsibilities dished out had painted quite an incredible image of what the position requires of me. but when i really got myself at the actual site, i was actually taken by surprise.
as the name implies, estate management. yeah, i worked for the developer for residential properties in the customer service department. so the project site is made up of developer, contractor and sub contractors to follow up on the purchaser's defects found in the unit lodged by them after an inspection has been carried out. within the Defect Liability Period, the contractor and the developer has to make good for anything defective found within the condominium itself. that would be at least for 12monhts. so before i came, 2 of my other colleagues were taking charge of at least more than 2towers. and one tower has more than 90units. but of course, not all units had been collected even though every SINGLE UNIT has been SOLD. but nevertheless, the files that they carry had so many defects lists which were still outstanding.... and i was told that when i am almost settled down, i had to take over one tower. that would be about 98 units or so...
for a newbie, that's definitely lots of follow up to rectify so that the units could be wonderfully handed (praying hard) over to the owner before they start suing us for not completing the rectifications on time.
so for the past 2days, there were no such things as being able to knock off on the dot at 6.25pm. everybody works till 7.20 at least. i smell something burning. yeah, not just my weeknights are burned, my saturdays morning to pig out on my bed are burnt too. no la, i wont die because i have to OT but rather i just hope that this would not be an everyday affair. i would have other more important committments to attend to. and that worries me. and people, there's more to tell you about my new job.
stick around... it's getting late so i need to fly off to dreamland....
nitezz..... (=
Monday, November 07, 2005
food, food and more food...
4days of eid celebrations had passed. i spend most of my time with the usual gang of muslim converts that i hang out with. and when i'm at their places, most of us spent so much time infront of the tv, watching SCV channels. they were yakking away about what they saw on this channel and that channel, and the tv remote was at the mercy of the remote controller. different images from one channel to the next were flashing before i even blink my eyes. to them, these channels were like everyday entertainment. but to a non-subscriber of SCV like me, images from MTV, National Geographic or perhaps the Travel & LIving are like gems to me you know. i began to wonder that i am missing out on so many good stuff.....
and i remembered on Sunday, i think i overloaded myself with lots of cookies while watching tv at a friend's place. i couldnt stop myself. popped them in my mouth one after another. the cookies were really delicious. if i didnt had to leave for another house, i might instantly become a couch potato there.... and i unwillingly dragged myself out from there... my appointment was supposed to be at six pm but i only left my friend's place at 5.45pm. it wasnt because of the cookies alone but the company as well....
well, the next house that i went belongs to an ex colleague of mine. she converted and got married to a muslim guy. two kids. not working. so the gathering was made up of ex colleagues from my previous previous job. and many of them brought their kids along. there was alot of noise but the level was still quite manageable. but cookies wasnt that great. the food was very western though. was looking forward to using my hands because after seeing how my mentor ate, i kinda wanna improve on my skills. but i know i'm far from the 'experts'. there was fried beehoon,fried fishball,fried toufu,fried chicken wing... i ate minimal only cause there wasnt anything special served... sorry...
and my attire shocks the entire group of mummies. a buddhist turned muslim. with a tudung on. they thought i was already married. that's explains the tudung attire. after explaining the usual 'curiousity (or security ) questions', they were satisfied with my answers because they have asked what should be asked.
so this is it. on how i spend my eid celebrations. not quite the norm for born muslims. converts stuck in singlehood. this would be how we pass our time. another convert that i knew actually spent his time watching movies alone for 10years during hari raya. maybe next year i can join him too. it's been long since i watched one.
and i remembered on Sunday, i think i overloaded myself with lots of cookies while watching tv at a friend's place. i couldnt stop myself. popped them in my mouth one after another. the cookies were really delicious. if i didnt had to leave for another house, i might instantly become a couch potato there.... and i unwillingly dragged myself out from there... my appointment was supposed to be at six pm but i only left my friend's place at 5.45pm. it wasnt because of the cookies alone but the company as well....
well, the next house that i went belongs to an ex colleague of mine. she converted and got married to a muslim guy. two kids. not working. so the gathering was made up of ex colleagues from my previous previous job. and many of them brought their kids along. there was alot of noise but the level was still quite manageable. but cookies wasnt that great. the food was very western though. was looking forward to using my hands because after seeing how my mentor ate, i kinda wanna improve on my skills. but i know i'm far from the 'experts'. there was fried beehoon,fried fishball,fried toufu,fried chicken wing... i ate minimal only cause there wasnt anything special served... sorry...
and my attire shocks the entire group of mummies. a buddhist turned muslim. with a tudung on. they thought i was already married. that's explains the tudung attire. after explaining the usual 'curiousity (or security ) questions', they were satisfied with my answers because they have asked what should be asked.
so this is it. on how i spend my eid celebrations. not quite the norm for born muslims. converts stuck in singlehood. this would be how we pass our time. another convert that i knew actually spent his time watching movies alone for 10years during hari raya. maybe next year i can join him too. it's been long since i watched one.
Friday, November 04, 2005
Post Hari Raya celebrations
You would have noticed that this post is already late because i didn't had the time to edit my post...
As i wasnt able to make it for the eid prayers, i slept till late morning. but i didnt want to stay at home for too long because i wanted to go and experience the hari raya mood out there. so i prepared myself quickly and set out. only to realise that my ONE AND ONLY appointment for the day starts after 2pm. okay, and i was out since 12pm.
i took a bus to compass point. and when i reached there, it was barely 1pm. so i went to Macdonalds to pass time. since i was hungry as well, i bought an extra value meal to satisfy my hunger. i spent timeless efforts to eat as slowwwlyyy as possible... i was stared at many times, making me wonder whether has my fasting month has really ended? and it was also an odd scenario because it seemed that i was the only Muslim woman in the whole restaurant... while everyone is busy preparing for their eid celebrations at home.
my friend only came at about 5pm to meet me. during the time, i wandered around the mall aimlessly. haha.... i bought a new flavoured bottle of coca cola with added lime.. not so nice actually. maybe because not icy-cold enough, cant really taste the lime. when i reached my FIRST invitation, other converts' brothers were already there. instead of attacking the food, i attacked the 'raya biscuits' because this is the time where you can really find some cool biscuits... YummYy... stayed at my friend's place till 8pm because i had nowhere else to go. then they decided to visit another brother. i tagged along because i wanna join in the crowd and be part of this atmosphere. when we reached the other place, everybody started eating again. i joined in too although i wasnt that hungry because i saw sambal prawns, chicken and KETUPAT.... FavOuriTe #@$% i went home early and the rest continued with their night tour...
the 2nd day of hari raya, i went to the library in the morning. Yes, THE LIBRARY. strange right?? after staying there for about 2hours, my stomach growled and i left for parkway for lunch at BK. i wandered around the mall AGAIN.... when it was almost time, i took a bus to Bishan to meet an ex colleague. we chatted from 6.30pm to almost 9pm. it came as a surprise because this was our first and the last meeting as colleagues from our previous company. and we never had lunch together before!!! but we managed to talk alot.
that was how i spend the first 2 days of hari raya. it might not be as fantastic and jam packed as the muslims who spend it with their families but i'm looking forward to better hari raya celebrations in the future.
Hope you had enjoyed your Eid celebrations! (:
As i wasnt able to make it for the eid prayers, i slept till late morning. but i didnt want to stay at home for too long because i wanted to go and experience the hari raya mood out there. so i prepared myself quickly and set out. only to realise that my ONE AND ONLY appointment for the day starts after 2pm. okay, and i was out since 12pm.
i took a bus to compass point. and when i reached there, it was barely 1pm. so i went to Macdonalds to pass time. since i was hungry as well, i bought an extra value meal to satisfy my hunger. i spent timeless efforts to eat as slowwwlyyy as possible... i was stared at many times, making me wonder whether has my fasting month has really ended? and it was also an odd scenario because it seemed that i was the only Muslim woman in the whole restaurant... while everyone is busy preparing for their eid celebrations at home.
my friend only came at about 5pm to meet me. during the time, i wandered around the mall aimlessly. haha.... i bought a new flavoured bottle of coca cola with added lime.. not so nice actually. maybe because not icy-cold enough, cant really taste the lime. when i reached my FIRST invitation, other converts' brothers were already there. instead of attacking the food, i attacked the 'raya biscuits' because this is the time where you can really find some cool biscuits... YummYy... stayed at my friend's place till 8pm because i had nowhere else to go. then they decided to visit another brother. i tagged along because i wanna join in the crowd and be part of this atmosphere. when we reached the other place, everybody started eating again. i joined in too although i wasnt that hungry because i saw sambal prawns, chicken and KETUPAT.... FavOuriTe #@$% i went home early and the rest continued with their night tour...
the 2nd day of hari raya, i went to the library in the morning. Yes, THE LIBRARY. strange right?? after staying there for about 2hours, my stomach growled and i left for parkway for lunch at BK. i wandered around the mall AGAIN.... when it was almost time, i took a bus to Bishan to meet an ex colleague. we chatted from 6.30pm to almost 9pm. it came as a surprise because this was our first and the last meeting as colleagues from our previous company. and we never had lunch together before!!! but we managed to talk alot.
that was how i spend the first 2 days of hari raya. it might not be as fantastic and jam packed as the muslims who spend it with their families but i'm looking forward to better hari raya celebrations in the future.
Hope you had enjoyed your Eid celebrations! (:
Wednesday, November 02, 2005
eve of Eid Mubarak
I was seriously anticipating the end of Ramadan and the arrival of Hari Raya Puasa. (this festival marks the celebration of successfully completed our fasting month, not the muslims' new year okay?)
The day before yesterday, there were some signs of AV*. i was frantically calling out to God to delay it but i guessed mother nature still decide to appear anyway. terribly disappointed. not only i had to pay back more when i skipped fasting, i couldnt go out to perform my much-awaited Eid-Adil-fitri prayers.
Aaarrrgggghhh.... i'm really feeling disappointed why did it have to be so accurate. and besides this mother nature thingy, there's another thing i'm feeling quite sad about.
i realised that since i can't go near any mosque to hide, i've NOWHERE ELSE TO GO on HARI RAYA PUASA. ssShhaarkss... while everyone will be with their families out on the streets with their matching 'baju kurung', i would be isolated.....
am i really gonna be ALONE tomorrow?
the LONELINESS TRICKLES INTO MY BRAIN SLOWLY....... EATING UP PARTS OF MY BRAIN.... DESTROYING MY HAPPY CELLS THAT RAMADAN IS OVER....
ALONE.... ONE PERSON.... LONELY.......
Is that how a convert without a partner has to go through the first year; the phase of loneliness?? hmm... i'll make the best out of my loneliness. (= okay, i'm gonna make my own plans now. before i go, here's wishing the non-muslim and muslim readers:
Happy Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya Puasa Adil-fitri and Eid Mubarak to all!!!!!
The day before yesterday, there were some signs of AV*. i was frantically calling out to God to delay it but i guessed mother nature still decide to appear anyway. terribly disappointed. not only i had to pay back more when i skipped fasting, i couldnt go out to perform my much-awaited Eid-Adil-fitri prayers.
Aaarrrgggghhh.... i'm really feeling disappointed why did it have to be so accurate. and besides this mother nature thingy, there's another thing i'm feeling quite sad about.
i realised that since i can't go near any mosque to hide, i've NOWHERE ELSE TO GO on HARI RAYA PUASA. ssShhaarkss... while everyone will be with their families out on the streets with their matching 'baju kurung', i would be isolated.....
am i really gonna be ALONE tomorrow?
the LONELINESS TRICKLES INTO MY BRAIN SLOWLY....... EATING UP PARTS OF MY BRAIN.... DESTROYING MY HAPPY CELLS THAT RAMADAN IS OVER....
ALONE.... ONE PERSON.... LONELY.......
Is that how a convert without a partner has to go through the first year; the phase of loneliness?? hmm... i'll make the best out of my loneliness. (= okay, i'm gonna make my own plans now. before i go, here's wishing the non-muslim and muslim readers:
Happy Deepavali and Selamat Hari Raya Puasa Adil-fitri and Eid Mubarak to all!!!!!
Tuesday, November 01, 2005
to love or to be loved?
Does love really make you blind and oblivious to everything people think its bad and in your eyes, you only see good in your loved one and the bad stuff were insignificant? is that what you call 'Beauty lies in the eyes of the beholder'?
how far would you go to make your loved one happy?when you know that the fruit that he likes is hanging on a ten foot tree and you are only 5 foot tall and you would try ways and means to get it because that would make him happy. or that the person that you love can only treat you like a friend, and to make him happy, you had to pretend like there's only space for friendship.
to love or to be loved? i think every woman would desire to be loved. because when you are being loved, you are definitely being pampered by your man. and if your man loves you more than you love him, ahh... wouldn't that totally make you feeling so secure, knowing for sure only you occupies a space in his heart. what i mean is the treatment is just different. but if you happen to become the person chasing after someone you love, that's a totally different feel. you would feel terrible if the person doesnt reciprocate your feelings. you would feel despondent if that person doesnt answer your calls or messages. you will feel terribly lonely when you try to date that person and you get rejected. i have those kind of feelings before. i dont know about you,my fellow readers and bloggers. you need to be in the tick of action to understand what i write here.
i pursue what i love and who i want to love. and that is why the frequencies of 'to love' is higher than 'being loved'. the funny thing is when there are opportunities of getting myself 'to be loved', the chemistry just doesnt strike. so a chance is missed. but there are many prevailing advantages to pursuing who you want to love. and there are of course the down sides too.
my friends have ever told me that whoever that i love will be very fortunate. because i would treat my man like a king. pamper him like a king. shower him with tender loving care. and would only give the best of what i can provide. yeah, that's me. but pampering like that doesnt ensure that your man would faithfully stay by your side. can you keep men by your side with all of the above? would that be sufficient enough?
what's your take on LOVE, this very amazing blind potion?
how far would you go to make your loved one happy?when you know that the fruit that he likes is hanging on a ten foot tree and you are only 5 foot tall and you would try ways and means to get it because that would make him happy. or that the person that you love can only treat you like a friend, and to make him happy, you had to pretend like there's only space for friendship.
to love or to be loved? i think every woman would desire to be loved. because when you are being loved, you are definitely being pampered by your man. and if your man loves you more than you love him, ahh... wouldn't that totally make you feeling so secure, knowing for sure only you occupies a space in his heart. what i mean is the treatment is just different. but if you happen to become the person chasing after someone you love, that's a totally different feel. you would feel terrible if the person doesnt reciprocate your feelings. you would feel despondent if that person doesnt answer your calls or messages. you will feel terribly lonely when you try to date that person and you get rejected. i have those kind of feelings before. i dont know about you,my fellow readers and bloggers. you need to be in the tick of action to understand what i write here.
i pursue what i love and who i want to love. and that is why the frequencies of 'to love' is higher than 'being loved'. the funny thing is when there are opportunities of getting myself 'to be loved', the chemistry just doesnt strike. so a chance is missed. but there are many prevailing advantages to pursuing who you want to love. and there are of course the down sides too.
my friends have ever told me that whoever that i love will be very fortunate. because i would treat my man like a king. pamper him like a king. shower him with tender loving care. and would only give the best of what i can provide. yeah, that's me. but pampering like that doesnt ensure that your man would faithfully stay by your side. can you keep men by your side with all of the above? would that be sufficient enough?
what's your take on LOVE, this very amazing blind potion?
Saturday, October 29, 2005
a time for reflection
As the end of Ramadan is drawing near, i've had this intention to blog this out but have not done so. I remembered my mentor once posed this question to me: "How's this year's fasting compared to the last?"
I answered: "Better than last year". it was unlike me to give such short answers in my sms reply. probably because i chose to blog out my thoughts right here as i have more underlying the word, 'better'.
Last year, i was given the opportunity to hear about Islam. i was doing my studies in this faith for a considerable amount of time and i had this chance to meet Ramadan before my conversion. though it was not required of a non-muslim to perform the acts of fasting, i wanted to try it out anyway. to get a feel of it. to experience how fasting was prescribed for people before us for Abraham,Jesus, Noah etc etc...
i still remember my mentor reminding me to stop if my body could not take it and there would not be required to be so 'on the ball'. but thank God, i successfully fasted for the first day and the next and the next, but when my gastric strikes me, i had to give it up. 30 days were over in a blink, and i successfully completed my 'unofficial fasting month'.
but now, as a real muslim, the experience of fasting before and now is totally different. when i was a non muslim, fasting doesnt reap rewards. when you dont fast, you also dont earn bad points. and the act of fasting for a non muslim is only literally just fasting. of not inducing food or water into your openings purposely. but all this was not the only thing to avoid, there were more as i went deeper in studying this new faith...
when i became a muslim this year, this Ramadan became my first 'official fasting month'. Official year of reaping rewards from God. an authorised member to be liable for any kind of benefits. now fasting has got a totally new meaning in my dictionary. i realised that the act of fasting doesnt just require you to abstain yourself from food from sunrise to sunset, you have to restrain yourself from sex, vulgarilities, lustful gaze,gossiping and backbiting and many more other vices. you might think that oh so muslims only do good in this month yeah. BUT NO, we are told to refrain from those vices 365 days per year. (of course, sex is allowed when you are married) and of course there are also acts like giving charity and engaging yourself in the remembrance of Allah s.w.t are highly encouraged.
so this year, i was put on a test. a test of not just on the physical body of going without food from sunrise to sunset but a test on the spiritual level of my desires. so i can say that it's not only more difficult than the previous year but it's more challenging. You are more aware and conscious of your thoughts, acts and behaviour. You develop taqwa, or called God-consciousness in layman terms. You carry out every thought and action consciously, reminding yourself 24/7 to think,do and behave accordingly to the commands of God. for every good thoughts or actions, you get multifold rewards from God. because God has shackled up Satan in this month. and so every muslim know that for any bad,undesirable thought or actions that we have, it is within ourself whether you are able to keep it under control.
this is also a blessed month whereby gates to Paradise are open and gates to Hell are closed. so it is also a golden opportunity to repent for the sins you have previously done. and not to repeat them again. Gain lessons from them. not to repeat them. God mercifully forgives if you are sincere in repenting. so i've also taken this opportunity to repent for any silly mistakes that i've done, hoping for forgiveness. earnestly reaping rewards.
as the days of fasting are getting lesser and the much sought after holidays of celebrating the completion of fasting is nearing, perhaps it's also time to reflect: "have you really done anything justificable to use this month to reap the benefits that God has laid down for us? have you learned anything from it? is there anything you need to change for the months to come?"
Nature provides us with many examples or refreshment and renewal. Dawn becomes day which becomes night and rolls out into dawn again. Just think, Allah s.w.t could have just as easily created a worl that just keeps going on and on, but instead He created a world that highlights renewal, as a sign for us to reflect.
so make full use of the time given. May Allah give us the strength to overcome all obstacles to renew ourselves. amin.
I answered: "Better than last year". it was unlike me to give such short answers in my sms reply. probably because i chose to blog out my thoughts right here as i have more underlying the word, 'better'.
Last year, i was given the opportunity to hear about Islam. i was doing my studies in this faith for a considerable amount of time and i had this chance to meet Ramadan before my conversion. though it was not required of a non-muslim to perform the acts of fasting, i wanted to try it out anyway. to get a feel of it. to experience how fasting was prescribed for people before us for Abraham,Jesus, Noah etc etc...
i still remember my mentor reminding me to stop if my body could not take it and there would not be required to be so 'on the ball'. but thank God, i successfully fasted for the first day and the next and the next, but when my gastric strikes me, i had to give it up. 30 days were over in a blink, and i successfully completed my 'unofficial fasting month'.
but now, as a real muslim, the experience of fasting before and now is totally different. when i was a non muslim, fasting doesnt reap rewards. when you dont fast, you also dont earn bad points. and the act of fasting for a non muslim is only literally just fasting. of not inducing food or water into your openings purposely. but all this was not the only thing to avoid, there were more as i went deeper in studying this new faith...
when i became a muslim this year, this Ramadan became my first 'official fasting month'. Official year of reaping rewards from God. an authorised member to be liable for any kind of benefits. now fasting has got a totally new meaning in my dictionary. i realised that the act of fasting doesnt just require you to abstain yourself from food from sunrise to sunset, you have to restrain yourself from sex, vulgarilities, lustful gaze,gossiping and backbiting and many more other vices. you might think that oh so muslims only do good in this month yeah. BUT NO, we are told to refrain from those vices 365 days per year. (of course, sex is allowed when you are married) and of course there are also acts like giving charity and engaging yourself in the remembrance of Allah s.w.t are highly encouraged.
so this year, i was put on a test. a test of not just on the physical body of going without food from sunrise to sunset but a test on the spiritual level of my desires. so i can say that it's not only more difficult than the previous year but it's more challenging. You are more aware and conscious of your thoughts, acts and behaviour. You develop taqwa, or called God-consciousness in layman terms. You carry out every thought and action consciously, reminding yourself 24/7 to think,do and behave accordingly to the commands of God. for every good thoughts or actions, you get multifold rewards from God. because God has shackled up Satan in this month. and so every muslim know that for any bad,undesirable thought or actions that we have, it is within ourself whether you are able to keep it under control.
this is also a blessed month whereby gates to Paradise are open and gates to Hell are closed. so it is also a golden opportunity to repent for the sins you have previously done. and not to repeat them again. Gain lessons from them. not to repeat them. God mercifully forgives if you are sincere in repenting. so i've also taken this opportunity to repent for any silly mistakes that i've done, hoping for forgiveness. earnestly reaping rewards.
as the days of fasting are getting lesser and the much sought after holidays of celebrating the completion of fasting is nearing, perhaps it's also time to reflect: "have you really done anything justificable to use this month to reap the benefits that God has laid down for us? have you learned anything from it? is there anything you need to change for the months to come?"
Nature provides us with many examples or refreshment and renewal. Dawn becomes day which becomes night and rolls out into dawn again. Just think, Allah s.w.t could have just as easily created a worl that just keeps going on and on, but instead He created a world that highlights renewal, as a sign for us to reflect.
so make full use of the time given. May Allah give us the strength to overcome all obstacles to renew ourselves. amin.
Tuesday, October 25, 2005
'iftar' and mosque-hopping activities
Some updates on my experiences of breaking my fast in local mosques during Ramadan.
I had a great start. (but subsequently, not that great la) My mentor took the effort to break fast with me on my first day of fasting. though we didnt perform prayers together but nevertheless, the experience was comforting and heartwarming. because being the one and only muslim in the family,you dont get the chance to have 'iftar' with your family members.
2nd day of fasting, i rushed out of the office soon after the clock strike 5.30pm. didnt even perform my mid-noon prayers. took a bus and went straight to Darul Aman. heavy traffic. darn! when i finally reached the mosque, the call was nearing. i didnt know what were my priorities. to pray first or to break first. in the end, i was late for my prayers and i didnt even get to eat any porridge. i had only my dates and a slice of bread to rely on. waited till 8pm for the call to start the special 'night prayers called Terawih'. that mosque was near my house, so going home straight after prayers was only a few bust stops away.
subsequently, i began to squeeze more brain juice and came up with many contingency plans. either this mosque or that. today this mosque, tomorrow that mosque. all without the company of my mentor. he had the benefit of doing all this ramadan stuff with his family all the time. unlike those who are without any kins.
my 4th day of fasting, i went to Masjid Kassim near my class in Kembangan. when i reached, all the makciks were already seated on the strawmats in an airconditioned area. woww... aircon somemore... i was ushered into a group of muslimahs already seated with a BIG PLATE of rice infront of them. and there was 5 bowls of porridge for each individual. i was hungry so i thought there might not be enough for 5mouths. but when i actually finished the porridge, my appetite dropped. i wanted to forgo the rice but wasnt allowed to. i was persuaded to finish the 'section' under my nose. omigosh, that's alot to cope i thought to myself. but since no wastage is encouraged, i did my best. okay, so that was my impression of sharing food in a BIG PLATE.
after that, i had a tough week. everyday (except the days i had my classes) i cracked my mind and thought about where would be the fastest yet most convenient place to have my 'iftar'. because i also need to consider the allowance for me to perform my prayers.time was an important contributing factor. but amidst all this rushing, i am actually enjoying myself. enjoying my first ramadan in mosques having 'iftar'. though i wont deny the loneliness does kills the mood. haha. (= but its alright.
so it was mosque-hopping for me for the past few weeks. i remembered knowing another muslim sister in Al-Mujahidin mosque and then i saw her in Al-Falah mosque again. what a small world yeah. about Al-Falah mosque, the serving of 'iftar' is far more humongous than Masjid Kassim. ( i really wished i could snap it down and load it, then my blog would be more interesting) this time round, the PLATE became BIGGER! the rice served was more. as i knew i couldnt take alot, i restrained myself to only a bowl of porridge and a slice of kueh and 3dates. but guess what, told not to waste again, must help to finish. in the end, i ate it afterall. no regret because i never tasted such tender mutton with no smell, and the spice was just right. POWER!!!
and today, i had the opportunity with the will of God, to try breaking fast at Al-Muttaqin. the mosque near my workplace. this mosque do not have even LARGER PLATES but rather it is a first come first serve basis and its SELF SERVICE! i dont mind. at least i get to take how much i can consume so as not to result in gorging the food in because we cant waste. but i did noticed that they helped themselves with lots of fried fritters etc... lucky those didnt appeal to me. and this mosque ended the 'night prayers' quite early.
so now i know. but i'm still continuing my mosque-hopping. havent tried the one which i heard was air-conditioned. hmmm... maybe i'll leave that for the weekend ahead....
I had a great start. (but subsequently, not that great la) My mentor took the effort to break fast with me on my first day of fasting. though we didnt perform prayers together but nevertheless, the experience was comforting and heartwarming. because being the one and only muslim in the family,you dont get the chance to have 'iftar' with your family members.
2nd day of fasting, i rushed out of the office soon after the clock strike 5.30pm. didnt even perform my mid-noon prayers. took a bus and went straight to Darul Aman. heavy traffic. darn! when i finally reached the mosque, the call was nearing. i didnt know what were my priorities. to pray first or to break first. in the end, i was late for my prayers and i didnt even get to eat any porridge. i had only my dates and a slice of bread to rely on. waited till 8pm for the call to start the special 'night prayers called Terawih'. that mosque was near my house, so going home straight after prayers was only a few bust stops away.
subsequently, i began to squeeze more brain juice and came up with many contingency plans. either this mosque or that. today this mosque, tomorrow that mosque. all without the company of my mentor. he had the benefit of doing all this ramadan stuff with his family all the time. unlike those who are without any kins.
my 4th day of fasting, i went to Masjid Kassim near my class in Kembangan. when i reached, all the makciks were already seated on the strawmats in an airconditioned area. woww... aircon somemore... i was ushered into a group of muslimahs already seated with a BIG PLATE of rice infront of them. and there was 5 bowls of porridge for each individual. i was hungry so i thought there might not be enough for 5mouths. but when i actually finished the porridge, my appetite dropped. i wanted to forgo the rice but wasnt allowed to. i was persuaded to finish the 'section' under my nose. omigosh, that's alot to cope i thought to myself. but since no wastage is encouraged, i did my best. okay, so that was my impression of sharing food in a BIG PLATE.
after that, i had a tough week. everyday (except the days i had my classes) i cracked my mind and thought about where would be the fastest yet most convenient place to have my 'iftar'. because i also need to consider the allowance for me to perform my prayers.time was an important contributing factor. but amidst all this rushing, i am actually enjoying myself. enjoying my first ramadan in mosques having 'iftar'. though i wont deny the loneliness does kills the mood. haha. (= but its alright.
so it was mosque-hopping for me for the past few weeks. i remembered knowing another muslim sister in Al-Mujahidin mosque and then i saw her in Al-Falah mosque again. what a small world yeah. about Al-Falah mosque, the serving of 'iftar' is far more humongous than Masjid Kassim. ( i really wished i could snap it down and load it, then my blog would be more interesting) this time round, the PLATE became BIGGER! the rice served was more. as i knew i couldnt take alot, i restrained myself to only a bowl of porridge and a slice of kueh and 3dates. but guess what, told not to waste again, must help to finish. in the end, i ate it afterall. no regret because i never tasted such tender mutton with no smell, and the spice was just right. POWER!!!
and today, i had the opportunity with the will of God, to try breaking fast at Al-Muttaqin. the mosque near my workplace. this mosque do not have even LARGER PLATES but rather it is a first come first serve basis and its SELF SERVICE! i dont mind. at least i get to take how much i can consume so as not to result in gorging the food in because we cant waste. but i did noticed that they helped themselves with lots of fried fritters etc... lucky those didnt appeal to me. and this mosque ended the 'night prayers' quite early.
so now i know. but i'm still continuing my mosque-hopping. havent tried the one which i heard was air-conditioned. hmmm... maybe i'll leave that for the weekend ahead....
Sunday, October 23, 2005
Evolution??
Have anyone watched the latest documentary screened on Channelnewsasia? It is called 'Species Odyssey'. here's the link. click here to find out about what is it all about.
When i was still a student. a student with low intellectual thinking. a student with a brain not quite fully developed, i was deceived by my teachers and fellow classmates in schools during science lessons or what-not, that HUMANS evolve from APES. that explains why some are hairy and some are not. some has little hair above their lips and some has 'abundance' of it. those with hairy legs are those who couldnt shed off and there are also some who totally have rid all of it.
but as i grew older, i couldnt accept that theory. theoretically speaking, it doesnt make alot of sense. not even 2cents. i pondered and pondered. but that pondering did not trigger the curiousity inside me to be so bothered to study deep into where actually HUMANS come from. furthermore, teenhood over, then came adulthood and adulthood has other problematic issues to resolve (career, studies, relationship woes etc...)
ha.it was not until when i reach my mid 20s, i had the golden opportunity to learn about the true evolution of HUMAN creation. you might not believe where i got my answers from because you would think that this is a bias statement. a statement which not only this religion can proclaim credit to answer such profound questions. but if its the truth, there's nothing to proclaim about. because in actual fact, it contains just the truth and nothing but the truth.
it takes two hands to clap. so this might take a muslim to understand what the other muslim is talking about. i'm not preaching my religion but just felt an urge to share and not be mislead by other information which might not be as accurate as it seems.
meanwhile, to satisfy your curiousity (only if you wanna know), watch out for this space while i go and do some search of verses in the Book. if you are really interested, you may like to read some other information here. click only if you are interested. if you dont like, don't click and dont complain about me okay?
When i was still a student. a student with low intellectual thinking. a student with a brain not quite fully developed, i was deceived by my teachers and fellow classmates in schools during science lessons or what-not, that HUMANS evolve from APES. that explains why some are hairy and some are not. some has little hair above their lips and some has 'abundance' of it. those with hairy legs are those who couldnt shed off and there are also some who totally have rid all of it.
but as i grew older, i couldnt accept that theory. theoretically speaking, it doesnt make alot of sense. not even 2cents. i pondered and pondered. but that pondering did not trigger the curiousity inside me to be so bothered to study deep into where actually HUMANS come from. furthermore, teenhood over, then came adulthood and adulthood has other problematic issues to resolve (career, studies, relationship woes etc...)
ha.it was not until when i reach my mid 20s, i had the golden opportunity to learn about the true evolution of HUMAN creation. you might not believe where i got my answers from because you would think that this is a bias statement. a statement which not only this religion can proclaim credit to answer such profound questions. but if its the truth, there's nothing to proclaim about. because in actual fact, it contains just the truth and nothing but the truth.
it takes two hands to clap. so this might take a muslim to understand what the other muslim is talking about. i'm not preaching my religion but just felt an urge to share and not be mislead by other information which might not be as accurate as it seems.
meanwhile, to satisfy your curiousity (only if you wanna know), watch out for this space while i go and do some search of verses in the Book. if you are really interested, you may like to read some other information here. click only if you are interested. if you dont like, don't click and dont complain about me okay?
Friday, October 21, 2005
Pump coffee(caffeine) into my bloodstream!
Yesterday i suddenly had this wish.
Because i have been extremely caught up with classes and prayers and they usually end quite late,and then i had to cope with the waking up in the wee hours of the morning to grab a bite before i start my fast for the day.
now all that committments had taken a toll on my sleep.SLEEP had been compromised to a mininum of 4hours per day only.and being my first Ramadan, there was indeed lots of 'homework' to be done. having to accustom my body system to clock a minimal of 4hrs sleep, trying so hard to make out what is being recited during prayers and waking up in the last third of the night to supplicate to God. it has been told that this time is one of the times the believers could get their supplications answered because God has descended to the lowermost heavens and says:
"Who is calling Me,so that I may answer him? Who is asking Me so that may I grant him? Who is seeking forgiveness from Me so that I may forgive him?"
Because late at night, when people are sleeping and are busy with wordly pleasures, Allah gives the believers an opportunity, or an answer hour if they can fight sleep and invoke Allah for whatever they need.
this post reminds me of a topic which i read from nawooz's topic on coffee addiction . i wouldnt ask to pump caffeine in exchange of my blood of course. but if only we could consider this option temporarily when we need to. I havent been drinking coffee for 4 weeks (almost) because ever since Ramadan started,everytime when i wake up so early in the morning i couldnt find the time to make myself a cuppa of nice aroma smelling coffee.
sometimes unadmittedly, mankind requires the provisions in this world to be able to sustain our existence. but we need to be aware of WHO actually provides the provision for our sustenance??
Because i have been extremely caught up with classes and prayers and they usually end quite late,and then i had to cope with the waking up in the wee hours of the morning to grab a bite before i start my fast for the day.
now all that committments had taken a toll on my sleep.SLEEP had been compromised to a mininum of 4hours per day only.and being my first Ramadan, there was indeed lots of 'homework' to be done. having to accustom my body system to clock a minimal of 4hrs sleep, trying so hard to make out what is being recited during prayers and waking up in the last third of the night to supplicate to God. it has been told that this time is one of the times the believers could get their supplications answered because God has descended to the lowermost heavens and says:
"Who is calling Me,so that I may answer him? Who is asking Me so that may I grant him? Who is seeking forgiveness from Me so that I may forgive him?"
Because late at night, when people are sleeping and are busy with wordly pleasures, Allah gives the believers an opportunity, or an answer hour if they can fight sleep and invoke Allah for whatever they need.
this post reminds me of a topic which i read from nawooz's topic on coffee addiction . i wouldnt ask to pump caffeine in exchange of my blood of course. but if only we could consider this option temporarily when we need to. I havent been drinking coffee for 4 weeks (almost) because ever since Ramadan started,everytime when i wake up so early in the morning i couldnt find the time to make myself a cuppa of nice aroma smelling coffee.
sometimes unadmittedly, mankind requires the provisions in this world to be able to sustain our existence. but we need to be aware of WHO actually provides the provision for our sustenance??
Thursday, October 20, 2005
An ordeal or a test?
Guess what,i have spilled the beans to him.i wasnt sure what i did was right but at least i got it off my chest.i dont know about you guys,but when i hear such 'news', i simply cant function properly.when i say i cant function properly,it means i think about it 24/7.i kept it away from him for two days and in the end,i couldnt take it anymore.
Though i didnt have the opportunity to clarify what i heard about him,but there was some consolation that the 'news' was not 100% accurate.i didnt tell him everything because he said he didnt want to hear what was said about him.and i think that's a very cool and positive attitude to adopt when it comes to knowing or hearing bad stuff about what other people have been spreading with their tongues.curiousity kills the cat.if such things were to happen on me,i would be so anxious to find out.maybe i should learn a few survival skills from him.
its amazing how people can fabricate tales like that of another person.and i guess the root of evil stems either from envy or jealousy developed towards that particular person. i wont deny that at times i do experience a tinge of jealously or envy towards another individual but that is only to spur me to do better and not to talk bad about that person.
from a religious viewpoint, we need to eradicate jealously,envy or suspicion towards others. i'm not sure how little will do good to mankind but if you can't suppress that feeling, then it will be bad because from time to time, it keeps growing in your heart and then it will obstruct your natural inborne disposition to be good, do good and think good.
Do you guys or gals have any bad experience of having to hear what other people have been speaking behind your back?and how do you deal with that deadly act of speech?
Though i didnt have the opportunity to clarify what i heard about him,but there was some consolation that the 'news' was not 100% accurate.i didnt tell him everything because he said he didnt want to hear what was said about him.and i think that's a very cool and positive attitude to adopt when it comes to knowing or hearing bad stuff about what other people have been spreading with their tongues.curiousity kills the cat.if such things were to happen on me,i would be so anxious to find out.maybe i should learn a few survival skills from him.
its amazing how people can fabricate tales like that of another person.and i guess the root of evil stems either from envy or jealousy developed towards that particular person. i wont deny that at times i do experience a tinge of jealously or envy towards another individual but that is only to spur me to do better and not to talk bad about that person.
from a religious viewpoint, we need to eradicate jealously,envy or suspicion towards others. i'm not sure how little will do good to mankind but if you can't suppress that feeling, then it will be bad because from time to time, it keeps growing in your heart and then it will obstruct your natural inborne disposition to be good, do good and think good.
Do you guys or gals have any bad experience of having to hear what other people have been speaking behind your back?and how do you deal with that deadly act of speech?
Monday, October 17, 2005
Lost for words
What do you do when you hear terrible 'news' about the one that you love?how would you respond?Can you clarify your doubts with him/her??If they are innocent,they would.but if they aren't,they will tell you to forgive them...
'News' came to me as a shock.i didnt know how to react.Especially in this month of ramadan,not just my mouth and stomach are fasting,but my eyes and ears are fasting too.i wasnt prepared to hear such stuff that would affect my fast in this blessed month.Because hearing such news,would take your attention away from attaining God-consciousness.it just takes away everything.like as though the hard work that you've put in has all gone to waste.
as i began to piece everything that i hear,i didnt expect it to make any sense out of it. the dosage i received this time was double of what i got from the previous betrayal.more details were given.doubts were converted to affirmations and questions were beginning to form in my head.
i didnt know where have i gone wrong.have i not done enough?was the other party/parties having something better than me or doing something more than what i've done for him?upon hearing what was told,my guess might be right.Perhaps the gifts or surprises that i planted on him wasnt sufficient to keep his heart at bay..i know i am not supposed to ask anything in return.i never asked for expensive gifts or fanciful surprises,never did i demand him to acknowledge that i am his girlfriend.i really couldnt understand why is this happening...
i know i would not be able to decipher how important or valued i am to him.but indeed,i have truly learnt a much important and valuable lesson from him.i guessed,since i am not acknowledged as his girlfriend, there wouldnt be any code of conduct that you need to abide: faithfulness.
since the calling of huney has stopped, well i guessed this is a very good start for me to release the accelerator and pull up the hand brakes and stop attaching myself so emotionally to a person that doesnt want to be with me.
BUT....BUT.... BUT....as i've said earlier...Its Ramadan.a blessed month for muslims.i'm supposed to feel physically and spiritually charged up.consciousness of God's commands should be at my fingertips and not the back of my mind.these are all tests that had been decreed by God,to test the beliefs that i've held close to my heart and the religious obligations that i've been commanded to follow.i should not dwell on the unnecessary but only concentrate about building my faith stronger and stronger. (though it can be quite hard to fight all these thoughts away)
An excerpt from the Book of God:Chapter of The Chambers(Surah Al-Hujurat 49:6~8)
"O Believers, if an evil-doer brings you a piece of news,inquire first into its truth,lest you should wrong others unwittingly and then regret your action.Know that God's apostle is among you.If he obeyed you in many matters, you would surely come to grief.But God has endeared the Faith to you and beautified it in you hearts,making unbelief,wrongdoing,and disobedience abhorrent to you.Such are those who are rightly guided through God's grace and bounty. God is all-knowing and wise."
if God willed,i would be given the opportunity to clarify.but i'm not sure if it was alright to warn him about the 'news' that was said about him. if its true would i be able to take the truth? but i didnt want to create any fitnah (false accusations based on hearsay). but right now, i seriously dont know what to do.
'News' came to me as a shock.i didnt know how to react.Especially in this month of ramadan,not just my mouth and stomach are fasting,but my eyes and ears are fasting too.i wasnt prepared to hear such stuff that would affect my fast in this blessed month.Because hearing such news,would take your attention away from attaining God-consciousness.it just takes away everything.like as though the hard work that you've put in has all gone to waste.
as i began to piece everything that i hear,i didnt expect it to make any sense out of it. the dosage i received this time was double of what i got from the previous betrayal.more details were given.doubts were converted to affirmations and questions were beginning to form in my head.
i didnt know where have i gone wrong.have i not done enough?was the other party/parties having something better than me or doing something more than what i've done for him?upon hearing what was told,my guess might be right.Perhaps the gifts or surprises that i planted on him wasnt sufficient to keep his heart at bay..i know i am not supposed to ask anything in return.i never asked for expensive gifts or fanciful surprises,never did i demand him to acknowledge that i am his girlfriend.i really couldnt understand why is this happening...
i know i would not be able to decipher how important or valued i am to him.but indeed,i have truly learnt a much important and valuable lesson from him.i guessed,since i am not acknowledged as his girlfriend, there wouldnt be any code of conduct that you need to abide: faithfulness.
since the calling of huney has stopped, well i guessed this is a very good start for me to release the accelerator and pull up the hand brakes and stop attaching myself so emotionally to a person that doesnt want to be with me.
BUT....BUT.... BUT....as i've said earlier...Its Ramadan.a blessed month for muslims.i'm supposed to feel physically and spiritually charged up.consciousness of God's commands should be at my fingertips and not the back of my mind.these are all tests that had been decreed by God,to test the beliefs that i've held close to my heart and the religious obligations that i've been commanded to follow.i should not dwell on the unnecessary but only concentrate about building my faith stronger and stronger. (though it can be quite hard to fight all these thoughts away)
An excerpt from the Book of God:Chapter of The Chambers(Surah Al-Hujurat 49:6~8)
"O Believers, if an evil-doer brings you a piece of news,inquire first into its truth,lest you should wrong others unwittingly and then regret your action.Know that God's apostle is among you.If he obeyed you in many matters, you would surely come to grief.But God has endeared the Faith to you and beautified it in you hearts,making unbelief,wrongdoing,and disobedience abhorrent to you.Such are those who are rightly guided through God's grace and bounty. God is all-knowing and wise."
if God willed,i would be given the opportunity to clarify.but i'm not sure if it was alright to warn him about the 'news' that was said about him. if its true would i be able to take the truth? but i didnt want to create any fitnah (false accusations based on hearsay). but right now, i seriously dont know what to do.
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