As the end of Ramadan is drawing near, i've had this intention to blog this out but have not done so. I remembered my mentor once posed this question to me: "How's this year's fasting compared to the last?"
I answered: "Better than last year". it was unlike me to give such short answers in my sms reply. probably because i chose to blog out my thoughts right here as i have more underlying the word, 'better'.
Last year, i was given the opportunity to hear about Islam. i was doing my studies in this faith for a considerable amount of time and i had this chance to meet Ramadan before my conversion. though it was not required of a non-muslim to perform the acts of fasting, i wanted to try it out anyway. to get a feel of it. to experience how fasting was prescribed for people before us for Abraham,Jesus, Noah etc etc...
i still remember my mentor reminding me to stop if my body could not take it and there would not be required to be so 'on the ball'. but thank God, i successfully fasted for the first day and the next and the next, but when my gastric strikes me, i had to give it up. 30 days were over in a blink, and i successfully completed my 'unofficial fasting month'.
but now, as a real muslim, the experience of fasting before and now is totally different. when i was a non muslim, fasting doesnt reap rewards. when you dont fast, you also dont earn bad points. and the act of fasting for a non muslim is only literally just fasting. of not inducing food or water into your openings purposely. but all this was not the only thing to avoid, there were more as i went deeper in studying this new faith...
when i became a muslim this year, this Ramadan became my first 'official fasting month'. Official year of reaping rewards from God. an authorised member to be liable for any kind of benefits. now fasting has got a totally new meaning in my dictionary. i realised that the act of fasting doesnt just require you to abstain yourself from food from sunrise to sunset, you have to restrain yourself from sex, vulgarilities, lustful gaze,gossiping and backbiting and many more other vices. you might think that oh so muslims only do good in this month yeah. BUT NO, we are told to refrain from those vices 365 days per year. (of course, sex is allowed when you are married) and of course there are also acts like giving charity and engaging yourself in the remembrance of Allah s.w.t are highly encouraged.
so this year, i was put on a test. a test of not just on the physical body of going without food from sunrise to sunset but a test on the spiritual level of my desires. so i can say that it's not only more difficult than the previous year but it's more challenging. You are more aware and conscious of your thoughts, acts and behaviour. You develop taqwa, or called God-consciousness in layman terms. You carry out every thought and action consciously, reminding yourself 24/7 to think,do and behave accordingly to the commands of God. for every good thoughts or actions, you get multifold rewards from God. because God has shackled up Satan in this month. and so every muslim know that for any bad,undesirable thought or actions that we have, it is within ourself whether you are able to keep it under control.
this is also a blessed month whereby gates to Paradise are open and gates to Hell are closed. so it is also a golden opportunity to repent for the sins you have previously done. and not to repeat them again. Gain lessons from them. not to repeat them. God mercifully forgives if you are sincere in repenting. so i've also taken this opportunity to repent for any silly mistakes that i've done, hoping for forgiveness. earnestly reaping rewards.
as the days of fasting are getting lesser and the much sought after holidays of celebrating the completion of fasting is nearing, perhaps it's also time to reflect: "have you really done anything justificable to use this month to reap the benefits that God has laid down for us? have you learned anything from it? is there anything you need to change for the months to come?"
Nature provides us with many examples or refreshment and renewal. Dawn becomes day which becomes night and rolls out into dawn again. Just think, Allah s.w.t could have just as easily created a worl that just keeps going on and on, but instead He created a world that highlights renewal, as a sign for us to reflect.
so make full use of the time given. May Allah give us the strength to overcome all obstacles to renew ourselves. amin.
No comments:
Post a Comment