Random reports of a convert

I’m going to relate an incident that happened about a month ago. I got a sms from a friend who wanted me to volunteer for Darul Arqam’s Public Lecture. In that sms, it specifically asked for Chinese converts but I didn’t know the reason behind such request. Anyhow, I signed up for it but I missed the briefing session.

Dr Gerald Dirks was our guest speaker and the venue was at the NTUC Auditorium. And I heard from another friend that the security in the building is very tight, and no prayers will be allowed in the auditorium because security cameras were everywhere. And the talk had been scheduled to deliver from 5 to 7pm. And volunteers had to assemble for a final briefing by 4pm. So what about my asar prayers then? I called up my friend and she told me that Darul will arrange for a small prayer area for volunteers. Alhamdulillah, I cry out.

Took my wudhu and left my house. Volunteers who attended the briefing session were given their stations to carry out their jobs. Since I didn’t attend the briefing, I was told to position myself at the entrance to give out door gifts, together with a few others. And I think, there were enough manpower to take turns to pray. I know that my amanah is to carry out my volunteer job conscientiously but I do not want to delay my prayer too late. So I approached my friend for the musollah. She told me to wait as they wanted to wait for the security guard to move away from the premises.

Waited and waited. Finally I followed her to an area where there was no cameras along with another sister. A couple of sajadahs were placed on the floor with the ‘mosque picture’ facing outwards. And guess what, when I prayed finished, they told me it was the wrong direction. So 3 of us had to pray again. Astaghfirullah’al azim.

After my prayers, I went back to my station to perform my duties. I noticed that there were new faces at the door, distributing the door gifts. I asked the sister who was standing infront of me if she had done her prayers. She said she will do it later as she already had her wudhu. But it was 5plus already. Politely, I told her again: “ There’s enough manpower here, so u can go now.” She replied:” Why you keep asking me to go and pray? You want to do this(referring to the door gifts) is it? I replied: “Not that, just that my teacher told me about taking care of my asar prayers and to pray within the earliest time possible.” She answered back: “Girl, I know you convert and you must pray on the dot. I am already 60 yrs old, I know all these things.”

Perhaps, it’s fated that I got such answers. But I felt sad. Do converts give such an impression to others? Is this supposed to be good or bad?

After that episode, I asked myself; is it wrong to pray at the earliest time possible? Am I being too rigid, too zealous about my prayers? Am I harbouring the right intentions about my prayers? Do I treat them like a ritual to be fulfilled immediately, or do I treat them like the most precious ‘meeting’ I have with my Lord?

Only Allah knows what is hidden in our breasts.