Who knows you better?

From the day I turned 16, I started my working life till now. For slightly more than a decade already. Because i ain't that clever,my results ain't that fantastic. hence I wasn't able to admit myself into a polytechnic course of my choice. I tried my hands at Shatec, thinking that hotel line would definitely be damn cool. The interview was successful but my mum disallowed. So in the end, I ended up with a job at the Singapore Changi Airport.

Allah swt came 'knocking' at my door and alhamdulillah i accepted the deen and embarked the rest of my journey as a Muslim in XY&Z company.Because when i first joined the company,i wasn't a muslim yet so i kept my identity as tightlipped as possible. Not because i was ashamed to be one but the situation doesn't allow me to say it. Colleagues were anti-islam, anti-malay. Praying at my workplace wasn't easy but alhamdulillah i was near a mosque. but i had to take a feeder bus to the mosque. At times, i could make it for congregation. But during busy times, i had to pray at my workplace. Sometimes i do get 'caught' and when that happens, people wagged tongues and they became suspicious.

When i had the opportunity to change my job, i wore my hijab for my interview. Alhamdulillah, i was successful and even got a better paying job. I was even allowed to don my scarf to work. Prayers wasn't tough to carry out, except that during peak periods, i was so busy that i was Late for my prayers. I felt terrible. Job became terrible too and so i left.

Now, I'm in a place where there's not too much work and i have time for prayers. Alhamdulillah.I might not be near a mosque but there's a musollah here. but usually i don't pray there. i found a secluded place near my building. Alhamdulillah. But i found myself complaining that my work is not challenging and i'm getting bored already. But then again, it was through Allah swt blessings and favours that i get to work here and have time to worship Him. He is giving me the opportunity to have 'concentration' in my prayers without any other disturbances.

Then i realised (i'm only speaking for myself) that i always think i know what i want for myself, always think what is good for myself, always think that i know myself best. But i have failed to realise the most important thing.... that....
Allah swt is most Mighty, most Powerful. He knows everything and whatever that is hidden within our breasts. We came from Him, we are His creation. He knows BEST.

I should never try and question Him. "Why did you give me this instead when i wanted that?"
"Why did you not answer my prayer even though i asked for it so many times?"


Surah al-Mulk 67:12~13

As for those who fear their Lord unseen for them is Forgiveness and a great Reward. And whether ye hide your word or publish it, He certainly has (full) knowledge, of the secrets of (all) hearts. Should He not know― He that created? And He is the One that understands the finest mysteries (and) is well-acquainted (with them).



67:21~22

Is then one who walks headlong, with his face grovelling, better guided― or one who walks evenly on a Straight Way? Say: "It is He Who has created you (and made you grow) and made for you the faculties of hearing, seeing, and understanding: little thanks it is ye give."