The Special One in your Life

Marriage is never a bed of roses.

You may have heard this over and over again.

When i was dating, i always imagined marriage to complete the picture of couplehood. Marriage is the answer to dreadful partings. Marriage is the answer to more affection.. When i was dating, i wanted marriage. But now that i'm married, i realised that the picture of marriage is not 'perfectly perfect' the way i imagined it to be.

I was experiencing mixed feelings about this process called 'marriage', that our Prophet (saw) was encouraging his ummah to do.

I still remembered that we were enthusiastically doing some pre-nuptial research about marriage. We went to the library,borrowed this book called 'Tranquil Hearts', a publication by Darul Arqam, compiled by many local ustazs and ustazahs for the marriage guidance course. We also bought a book from Wardah bookstore called 'A Muslim Marriage Guide'. I recommend this book to all lovers who aspires to tie the knot with their special one.

I told myself that i want to apply all the theorotical knowledge into my 'Marriage Practicum'.

When the day came, and days passed.... weeks passed.... i realised that it wasn't that easy. At times, i admit that i had alot of "nonsense thoughts" up in my head. I was struggling. I felt that the whisperings came when the "bad thoughts" arises. This is really bad, i told myself in my prayers. May Allah swt shower upon me His mercy and forgiveness. Astaghfirullah.

And the quote below which crossed my path when i was begging for guidance by Him. Its by a famous shaykh and would like to share with all:

You don't choose whom you love. He chooses them. If you had that choice to choose; then the road would be simple. Whom he puts in your life, is part of your test: to bear with them, to accept them and most of all to love them despite all that they may agitate you with. After all, they come from Him and they return to Him, just like you did and will do. "...And We have made some of you as a trial for others: will you have patience? And your Lord is Ever All-Seer (Surah al-Furqan:20)

Ramadhan is over

Today is the last day of the fasting month.

I'm not excited about approaching Syawal, or even Eidul Fitri. Rather, i'm more sad when i leave Ramadhan.

Leaving the month of mercies, blessings and forgiveness. Leaving the best of all months as what Allah swt has decreed.

Leaving Ramadhan, feeling that i've not accomplished anything pleasing in the eyes of Allah, my One and Only God. My Creator, Sustainer, Cherisher, Nourisher. The One that gives without holding back anything which He thinks is good for me.

Leaving the month where Shaitan gets locked up, and there's no other whisperings or promptings except for your own ego enticing you to do bad stuff or think bad stuff.

I left Ramadhan, not being able to complete even half of the Quran.

I left Ramadhan, not consciously waking up for my Night prayers.

I left Ramadhan, not improving my own self as a true believer.

And i approached Syawal, full of regrets. I do not even know if i get to enjoy my 4th Ramadhan.

But i do hope that for the rest of the Muslim bros and sistas out there have accomplished more than i did.

Nevertheless, i'm thankful to Allah for giving me the opportunity to perform my obligatory fasting for the 3rd time.

alhamdulillah

Reminders of Ramadhan

A Travelling Shaykh said:

"What have we got to show for in this blessed month of Ramadhan, despite fasting year after year?

What have we benefitted from our past Ramadhan?"

We always take for granted that we will meet Ramadhan every year.

Year after year of fasting, what do we want to achieve? is fasting solely just for the sake of fasting just because it's incumbent on every muslim?

Fasting yields many benefits for muslims who yearns getting close to Allah swt.

Fast. For a different purpose and meaning today. For a different perspective in life.

May Allah swt forgive our sins and bestow upon us blessings and accept our fast in Ramadhan. Ameen.


*disclaimer* - i do not consider myself as someone very perfect with my fast nor prayers.I hope that by sharing some really useful and informative articles for other muslims to benefit from it.

Gone back to be with Allah

This bee was found lying dead on the floor at the open space in my workplace.

I hardly get to spot insects this big, especially a bee and so i couldn't resist taking a picture of it. and it's usually unlikely of me to feel connected with insects.

'Connected'? It may seem weird to use this word but after i became a Muslim, i began to view everything that i see from a different perspective.

Being a muslim means you acknowledge that There's NO OTHER GOD except ALLAH and Prophet Muhammad saw is the Messenger of God.

So the next awareness will be; all creations come from God, henceforth they are muslims, even this little friend of ours who have just 'passed away'. That's why i said i felt connected. The passing away of this bee reminded me, that one day, i shall also be called back to God.

Living a life as a muslim brings more purpose and meaning to LIFE. Signs everywhere around me shows the existence of Allah. Only with the decree of Allah, I exist. and with my existence, I acknowledge that Allah is the One and ONLY God that i should turn to. For help, favours, blessings, provisions, sustenance and many many more....

Ramadan - Month of Allah swt

Prophet s.a.w said:



"O People! The month of Allah (Ramadan)has come with its mercies, blessings and forgiveness.

Allah has decreed this month the best of all months. the days of this month are the best among the days and the nights are the best among the nights and the hours druing Ramadan are the best among the hours. This is a month in which you have been invited by Him (to fast and pray). Allah has honoured you in it. In every breath you take is a reward of Allah, your sleep is worship, your good deeds are accepted and your invocations are answered.



....invoke your Lord in all earnestness with hearts free from sin and evil, and pray that Allah swt may help you to keep your fast and to recite the Holy Quran....



...Guard your tongue against unworthy words, and your eyes from scenes that are not worth seeing (forbidden) and your ears from sounds that should not be heard...



... Do repent to Allah for your sins and supplicate with raised hands at the times of prayer as these are the best times, during which Allah Almighty looks at His servants with mercy. Allah answers if they supplicate, Responds if they call, Grants if He is asked, and Accepts if they entreat. O People! your have made your conscience the slave of your desires...



... invoke Allah for forgiveness. Your back may break from the heavy load of your sins, so prostrate yourself before Allah for long intervals, and make this load lighter. understand fully that Allah has promised in His Honour and Majesty that people who perform salat and sajda (prostration) will be guarded from Hellfire on the Day of Judgement...



O People! anyone who during this month cultivates good manners, will walk over the Sirat (bridge to paradise)on the day when feet will tend to slip...



Whomever offers the recommended prayers during this month, Allah will save him from Hell, and whomever observes his obligations during this month, his reward will be 70x the reward during other months. Whomever repeatedly invokes Allah's blessings on me, Allah will keep his scale of good deeds heavy, while the scales of others will be tending to lightness. Whomever recites dring this month an ayat of the Holy Quran, will get the reward of reciting the whole Quran in other months...

O People! the gates of Paradise remain open during this month. Pray to your Lord that they may not be closed for you. while the gates of Hell are closed, pray to your Lord that they never open for you. Satan has been chained, invoke your Lord not to let him donimate you.

Hope the above inspires you to do more good, and avoid the forbidden.

May Allah swt gives us the strength, power, perserverance and patience and iman to carry out our ibadah(worship) sincerely and wholeheartedly for the sake of Allah swt. Ameen.

a new phase

25 August 2007 marks a new chapter in my life.

Marital status: Married.

I had pre-nuptial jitters a few nights before the real thing came. I panicked. I couldn't understand why i felt that way. While we were getting to know each other, i felt that he should be the man that i should choose and that i was definitely looking forward to a married life with him.

Nearing to the wedding week, we spend alot of time together in our new home, trying to get everything organised for the wedding ceremony as well as for the house that we will move in immediately after our wedding. There was alot of differences in opinions about many many things. There were things which i wanted it the way i wanted it to be, but he would always rebuke and then come up with something else.

I guess Allah has his own wisdom by making man and woman differently, think differently, behave differently.

And surely, as many would say, a longlasting marriage requires tolerance, patience and mutual understanding. and plenty of gives and takes.

i still have a long way to go... if God willing.

Everything around us

It might be hard for some to imagine or to relate to today's topic but nevertheless, if it can't reach out to all, it shall serve as reminder for myself.

Before i became a Muslim, i took many things for granted. although i had alot of questions about my existence on planet earth, it was quite hard to figure out from books, answers about how everything is put in its proper place. When i say everything, i mean literally EVERYTHING. Matters like how the sun and the moon run its course the way it should be, why are there earthquakes and tornadoes etc etc...

I was made into a 'buddhist' by my parents. Information about how clouds are formed were from science lessons, information about how countries faced tycoons and thunderstorm were from the buddhism lessons i took from the monk as well as my mother. (she always says that these are caused by greed from human beings) I couldn't accept the facts wholeheartedly, but nevertheless tried to understand it when she associate the terrors of nature are a reflection of how human beings have shaped the nature to be 'cruel' to us.

When i began my journey as a Muslim, i doubted more things. I was told that God is in CONTROL of EVERYTHING. Not that i doubted God, but everything that i needed to know came all together. So i had really took alot of time to digest and understand the bigger scheme of things in a fresh perspective, throwing away thoughts which sounded very silly.

Questions, questions and more questions. Why?When?How did it happen?

Slowly, things became much clearer. Marvelling at God's 'artwork', preparing earth for us, running the sun and the moon at the appropriate times in the day so that mankind has time for rest and work. Science was much more meaningful now than ever because i've related it to God's creation.

Even EVERYTHING in my body reminds me of God. Allah has set everything right. Created a 'masterpiece' of organ system so that everything runs in order. No scientist could ever make that claim. NEVER. and so i end this post, to glorify and praise and thank God for everything that He has given.

Glory be to Allah. All Praise be to Allah. Lord of the worlds.

Which food is more sinful?

This is one of our outing dinners at al azhar restaurant.

i hate late dinners. especially when it's after 8 or 9pm. Body takes longer to digest the food and i can't take foods which are very heavy in carbo.
If you don't know what's that on the right, it's Roti John.
See that mayo on the top. and yes, it's Roti. Bread got lots of carbo. That's for him.
Now, the next one is what i ordered. it's called a thosai. though it's big, but i think
the ingredients might be slightly less sinful.

Probably all flour. I skipped the curry. Took some of the spices.

It usually comes in different taste and flavour, but i chose the plain one.

Lunch

This is a fast yet convenient, and best of all ..... ECONOMICAL way of preparing my lunch at my workplace.

I bought frozen chicken hotdogs for $1.50 and there's 10pieces. I bought a whole packet of instant noodles(6 packets) for $1.50. And i can eat this over for 6 lunches at least. Once the hotdogs run out, i'll top it up by buying chilli tuna in a can as substitute.

I'm saving for BIG stuff. home stuff. wedding stuff.

Actually, the hotdog wasn't supposed to look like that. Because i forgot to adjust the timing on the oven, and was distracted by a counter enquiry, henceforth, the oven SUCKED out all the water content in the hotdog and my hotdog became dry and hard. But, nevertheless, I still ate it anyway.

Which priority comes first

(I'm actually having second thoughts about writing this)
I came to realise that some muslimahs who don the scarf actually do not pray.

I was shocked to hear that.


It was brought to my awareness when my friend was telling me to approach the muslimahs at my workplace to check where is the musollah located but he said to me: ' not all muslimahs who have the scarf actually pray, so you might ask a 'fake one'. Well, that really came as a surprise to me. For naturally, I would have the impression that all muslimahs who wear the hijab would pray. Why wouldn't they, since they have accepted the hijab to be part of the islamic faith? And prayers, being the pillar of Islam, being the most important pillar for a Muslim, why aren't they also carrying out that commandment?

Recently, I attended a talk at Darul Arqam and the topic was 'The Significance of Rejab'. And while since we are in the month of Rejab, maybe i can share abit of what i heard from Shaykh Mohd Ibrahim.

He shared with us the story of Isra and Mi'raj of Prophet Muhammad s.a.w and got the 'gift of prayer' from Allah swt. Initially, Allah swt decreed that the ummah of Prophet saw should pray 50times per day. While Prophet saw came down, he met Musa a.s and was told to go back to Allah to reduce the number of prayers. Musa a.s said that Prophet's ummah is weak and would not be able to handle the prayers. He made several trips, each trip requesting Allah swt to reduce the load of his ummah.

And so finally it was reduced from 50 to 5 times per day. Musa a.s still told him to go back and reduce it somemore but Prophet saw was so ashamed because he had already made so many trips.

Nevertheless, Allah swt promised Prophet saw that his ummah would still continue to receive the reward of 50prayers even though it was only 5times per day.

How lucky are we to be Prophet's saw ummah!

But think again:' Musa a.s was right about us. We are weak human beings. With only just 5 prayers to manage per day, sometimes we neglect the importance of it, sometimes even thinking lightly of it.

And Allah swt is ever so Merciful, so Generous to His creations. By just praying 5 times, we get a reward equivalent to 50prayers. Is there any other God that can be so generous?

Masha Allah. Glory be to Allah! All Praises belong to Allah, LOrd of the heavens and the earth!!!

Rejab: month of Allah. recommended to ask for alot of forgiveness for Allah is the all-forgiving; most Merciful.

Loss of civic mindedness

I witnessed this terrible incident at the bus stop late at night in selegie road.

While waiting for my midnight bus home, 3 youngsters walking past me. 2 young ladies, probably in their mid teens together with a young man. One of the ladies was holding a beverage can in her hands. They sat on the higher bench, while i was sitting on the lower bench, another bench separating our distance.

I was really really sleepy and tired, suddenly a screeching sound from the can came from that group of youngsters. Then, it followed by another crushing sound. The drink can in that girl's hand was 'disfigured'. The metal thingy was exposed. I turned my head back, thought it might just be the 'itchy and boring hands' doing the act.

Then i heard another sound coming from that side.After 'disfiguring' the can, she conveniently threw it behind her. Not into the trash, mind you. But just aimlessly throwing.

An old auntie who was standing very close to her, reprimanded her for being so inconsiderate. She lectured her in mandarin, reminding her of the danger that it might cause to other people.
She went on and on, telling her to pick it up. And the worse thing was, she turned away from her, blindly ignoring her pleas.

The old auntie had to pick up the can herself and threw it into the bin herself.

And those 3 youngsters did nothing but kept giggling away.

I don't know what other passerbys feel or have thought about what they had just witnessed but i felt totally disgusted.

I do believe they do receive some moral education lessons in school and i also believe that the teachers are definitely doing a good job. but i could not comprehend why would such terrible attitude be present in them? isn't there no sense of shame to let an old auntie teach them this lesson of being civic mindedness in this society?

Is the society losing it? Can we still depend on the young to mould a better world to live in?

Marriage changes oneself

Marriage-hood. (if there's such a word)

Age is catching up, and a woman's biological clocks goes ticking away. Soon, i will be entering it and becoming a part of the 'community' in a few months time.

Currently,i'm making preparations for our wedding with my husband-to-be. Its a challenging process. We had so many kinds of decisions to make; type/brand of appliances; colours for our tiles, walls, dining table, cabinets etc; design of our wedding card; type of caterer; type of theme for the wedding; budget for every single expenses; and the list just goes on and on and on.............

So in the midst of making all these decisions, there were many trials and difficult times faced by both of us.

When i think of the trials that we faced, it's only very trivial. but there's always niakmah (wisdom and blessings) for us. Lessons for us to learn from our mistakes.

This recent shopping experience at the hardware shop made me learn alot of things. I knew that if he had raised up the issue of my attitude then surely i'm in the wrong and i need to change. I cannot feed my ego and think that whatever that i say or do is right and he is wrong. i found myself crying to God, seeking forgiveness from Him. I truly love him and i really want to work out things with him.

Ego of a human being can really destroy things. shaitan blows whisperings into our ears, to create mischief among couples. If i had succumb myself to shaitan, i would not see myself apologising to him or would even think that there's nothing wrong with the comments that i passed. whatsoever.

Imagine this

I was suffering from a stomachache that day. went to the toilet a couple of times.

(the following para might not deem suitable if you are having lunch while reading this)

I was in the toilet.

Suddenly, i was overwhelmed with gratitude towards my Lord because i pondered upon the greatness of my Lord. i know it's a bad place to think of HIM, but i really hope HE understands what i'm gonna say right here is simply a way of thanking HIM.

Every single organ or muscle in my body is being designed in such a way that no mankind would have the intelligence to create such a system in place.
Imagine this:

1. every single muscle required to clench our fist
2. every single muscle required to release the 'bad stuff' from our anus
3. ability to process all that junk from our body by segregating the proteins and the saturated fats.(for the fats thingy,from a woman's pov, it would be great if the body don't store all of it at the tummy, thighs and arms)
4. every single heartbeat pumping(survival)
5. and the list goes on.....

Perhaps mankind has already take everything for granted. supposedly thinking that the system runs on 'auto gear'...

Think again. Reflect.

Would You Marry Mee?

In Islam,Marriage is considered as completing the 'other half' of your religion... makes you a better muslim...

Two individuals.Male and Female.Living their separate lives for more than 2 decades, coming together as a married couple under one roof.

Does opposites attract or would it turn out to be fatal if either one fails to understand?

It is a challenging job.and it would be a fulfilling one.

A shaykh said this:
'Two people of different personalities coming together as a married couple. be prepared that there will be alot of adjustments to make. Communication is important. Both need to decide and discuss. Remember to GIVE and TAKE.'

Golden words of advice.Heed it.Or else......

The Rider and his bike

I am a pillion on this bike.
This bike has gone through at least 3 accidents. Thank God, that those accidents weren't major, and the rider is still in one piece.. managed to brush through with only minor abrasions. The pillion is also very lucky. (not with the victim during these times)

This spot is a favourite spot parked by the biker. its outside a mosque in S'pore. This biker likes to park his bike here and walk all over arab street, bugis, orchard or even suntec city. He also likes to visit the cafes here to drink his favourite teh halia( tea with milk and ginger). i always joked that he's an ambassador for the entire arab street. He knows where to get the best deals, where to get good food and where to drink the best Teh Halia.

Maybe next time i'll introduce him to you.

Long long time

Its been a month since i blogged...and there's so many things i wanna say.

many happenings in my life... Good,bad, but not worst yet. but whatever it is, i thank God for giving me so many chances and opportunities in life

New job,new colleagues, new phase of life...

I will try and blog as often so that i could keep them recorded somehow, for memoirs sake...

God is Great!!!!!!!!

My prayers are answered!!!!! Alhamdullilah! (Praises be to Allah!!!!)

God never fails to hear His believers' prayers. REALLY.
Have patience and TRUST in him.

There's nothing else i'm feeling right now, except but to keep thanking Him in my heart.

So gotta go sleep now and wake up later to pray and say thanks to Him.

Good night........ (=

SMS/Long distance call '24434'

As i'm approaching towards the end of my 'that time of the month', i began realising that i've not been praying for almost a week. and when i don't pray, i felt that my communication with God becomes incomplete in a lesser degree.

i began to feel like i've missed Him alot. though i know He's nearer to me than my jugular vein, and i could just talk to Him anytime and anywhere but because i felt quite sad today. The desire of calling and reaching out to Allah became more intense.

maybe because......
when i feel sad, i do not know who to turn to except Him.

when i feel like crying, i do not know what number can i dial except '244434'

when i need some solace, comfort or consolation, i do not know who else to rely on except Him.

i came across an article while waiting at a lounge, and sadly it reminded me of Linus. arrrgghh... shouldn't talk about him at all...

anyway, i truly truly TRULY feel that there's nothing else in this world except Allah, could fill up the emptiness in my heart, provides the solace and comfort that i always need, and listen to my cries and prayers whenever i'm sad.

even if i do have a partner, i wonder deeply at times, if my partner pays attention to me at all...

Who should you thank?

ISLAM. often and would always be a misunderstood religion.

why would it be, when there are so many muslims around?and it's the world's second largest religion. has the message gone out clearly to the non muslims, or did they choose to ignore the message and the signs around them?

ISLAM. A way of life. surely and definitely it has its reasons why these 4 words are tagged onto it.

It encompasses everything. it completes everything in your life. Even in Allah's 99 beautiful names, there are cures for everything. You name it. HE has it. insya allah(if God-willing)

Allah gave mankind everything that we need. but its us, human beings, who chooses to take things for granted.

Complacency. InGratitude.

randomly thinking

Work has been pretty boring. calls were decreasing but noise level has been increasing. sometimes i hide myself away from people who talk often so that i can do a bit of reading and reflection on my own.

as i sat on my chair, awaiting for the calls to come in, thoughts flooded my mind about gratitude. and so i thought i wanna blog it out:

Every single breath that i take reminds me of the favours and mercy that God has bestowed upon me.
Without the oxygen that i'm breathing right now, i wouldn't be able to live. without oxygen on earth, there wouldn't be life.

But with Allah, the ever Living, Eternal, self subsisting One, comes mercy and blessings upon mankind.He provided sustenance,gives life, supplies oxygen to all of his creation on earth.

When someone gives you gifts like these in abundance, shouldn't you pay your gratitude to the One who provides without charging you for it? shouldn't you at very least be grateful?

THINK. REFLECT. LOOK AROUND YOU.
Can you find any objects around that remind you of a presence which hails you to think that this universe has to be maintained and be taken care of?

And all this cannot be done by mankind. but if you think otherwise. it definitely has to be God. but if you think its not God but man, or even scientists like albert einstein or Newton?
they were dead already, but God is still with us.